There was an error in this gadget

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Please Insert Your Parking Ticket

Automated voice is unpleasant, sometimes, especially at those malls where their ticket payment requires an autopay machine. The pre-recorded female voice (maybe it's a male voice at your area) keeps repeating the sentence till it drives you crazy.



"Please insert your parking ticket.
Please insert your parking ticket..."

It can repeat a zillion times if you are a slowcoach in pulling out your parking ticket.

Monotonous and yet deeply annoying. I know it serves well for people who have special needs, but at least make it more melodious and cheerful than a flat tone "please insert your parking ticket". Maybe you can have it repeated twice or thrice, but not everytime whenever the sentence ended.

This supermarket near my home is specially made for annoy people. The full "conversation" of the machine goes like this:

Please insert your parking ticket.
Fee is One Ringgit.
Insert XXXXX card for discount.
Please... etc

And it repeats at least twice per sentence. I wonder these variants are good for fun:

#1:

Please insert your parking ticket.
Fee is Two Ringgit.
Insert One Ringgit for discount.

Say what? Insert another Ringgit just for a discount? Work your maths and you can see you incur losses no matter how cheap your fee is. LOL.


#2:

Please insert your barking ticket.
Fee is Two Ringgit.
Insert your dog tag for discount.

Dog Mall. Definitely. Either that or dogs have evolved.


#3:

Please insert your parking ticket.
Please insert your parking ticket.
... (silence)...
"Hello? I am waiting for the amount needed to pay!" a payer screamed.
I'm still calculating your fees by entering logarithms, differentiation, Kaluza-Klein theory, higher spatial dimension math... etc.

Maybe this wil happen in a future Silicon Valley, or somewhere high-tech.


#4:

Please insert your parking thicket
Seen is too small
Buy fertilisers from the machine.

Florist, perhaps.


#5:

Please do not insert your parking ticket.
Fee is credited from your account.
Please pay to compound.

At the bank, surely. Prepare to be LIQUIDATED.


#6:

Please insert your f**cking ticket.
Fee is One Dollar
Insert your co*k for this cu*t

Rude! My goodness. Maybe this is for the prostitute house?


#7:

Please...
Puh... p-puh...
Pt.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.

SYSTEM MALFUNCTION. PLEASE EXIT THIS BLOG NOW.


No comments:

Post a Comment