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Friday, September 30, 2011


I love the time when I can't go online. Now, when I just log into facebook, darn, things keep popping up. Things that I don't like to see. I hope it should be alright.

People tell me, if someone broke your heart, break it back. They will know the pain you suffered.

I was like, that's a good idea.

And I was wrong. Terribly wrong.

I easily fall in love with someone who treats me nice. I am sensitive. More sensitive.

I start to wonder, where is my iron heart and steel will? I used to be emotionless. I used to be strict. I used to be that guy who never smiles or laughs at any jokes.

Where am I? Who am I?

I changed. I metamorphosized. I am not who I am anymore. I changed too much. I was once a playful, curious boy who scares of everything but dares to do anything. Then, I changed to an iron figure lasting for about several years, till someone told me about Black Jack, and how he said 'I will change you till you gonna smile. Even if it costs me my life'.

I changed during NS as a joker. I tried being helpful. I tried to erase the racist border between two races. A mere diplomat. And when I came to UTAR, I changed to a sensitive guy. Is it true that we have a phase in our lives that we need companion? Is it because I need a companion, that's why I got sensitive?

I don't know.

Thinking back, I might NOT drop any subjects next semester, even if it stresses me out. So what? I am glad my time is 8am to 8pm. I don't want to spend a svinoi second on the Internet or other personal stuff. I will go the usual life: eat, sleep, study.

There will be no room for me to get sensitive. Haha. Can't say whether I am going to miss JingCong or his saxophone. Damn, suddenly I feel like next semester is going to be a very lonely one. Well, still thanks to my jam-packed timetable, I don't think I have time to mix around with people.

One more year to go. And I can make it.

I have to enjoy how school life is. Not youngster life. School life is about studying with friends. Only youngster life is about having fun. I have to try to rewind my life back to when I was in secondary school.

I have 7 weeks to prove myself.

This blog entry is now closed for the moment. See you all physically next two weeks (or maybe earlier)!


OK, it's my precious time to online during this semester break. I feel like I am a US Army doing private personal time through the Internet in the midst of battleground. Precious and dangerous.

OK, let's start from the beginning. Hanging.

I am feeling very happy these few days, since last thursday. It's been a week.

I remembered I was taking a nap, then somebody called me. Mind you there, I am VERY afraid of taking calls, except from my family. I don't know why. Groggily, I saw the name 'Lee Juan Wyn'. Haha. Energetic and pulled myself off from bed and answered.


'Come down, I am at your house now already,' he spoke.

Haha. I don't know what to say. It's been a long semester since I ever saw him. Still there grinning as ever. Too bad my room was stuff with 3 of my friends' stuffs, or I can invite him in rather than talk downstairs at the dinning area.

Ish... paiseh...

Then I asked WeiWei for dinner with Wendy, but somehow, JuanWyn joined us. LOL. And then at night, I promised to 'belanja' him McD, so I did, but that 'EmoMeal' WeiWei took, I also had to pay for it. =.=

I felt very different. I don't know why. I was just happy enough to see my friends back after facing the exam alone. Haha. Silly me.

We played and joked so much at A Station, playing L4D2. I know you guys out there are pro already. It's my 2nd time playing. Stupid. I shot WeiWei to death with my shotgun. Haha. I still can't stop laughing when I wrote this blog. I imagined what happened. She crossed in front of me and I fired. I was firing the zombies. She just got into my way. Immediately, WeiWei's status was 'Dead'. She stared at me with those accusing eyes.


Pity JuanWyn, I had to ask him to wipe the fan for me. *touched* HAHAHA... Anyway I thank you for coming to spend time with us. It's fun to be with you (and of course with WeiWei and Wendy). I can see that you are a nerd back at Setapak. Compare to last time, you are like still stagnant with your skills. Haha.

I missed the way you joked on me. ^^ By the way, hope I can see you next semester if possible.

Then, I went back to Ipoh. Started with my tiresome journey of abusing the piano keys and computer keyboard. Novels and songs. It's been my favourite past time. I even, ahem, did a research on effect of human brain on electronic device's randomness.

Don't ask.

Then, my bro, came back from Egypt since a long time, invited me to go out, just yesterday. Haha. I can't believe he is much more handsome than the last time I met him. Hahahahah. So, yeah, in case you racist people reading, he is a Malay. I have seen more odd eyes looking at us while we are hanging out in Jusco.

What, they think we are gay? Or because of different races cannot hang out together? Or because of confusion of skin tones vs race (I have dark skin he has fair skin, but he looks Malay, I am Chinese)? Oh, whatever, we had a great time together. Haha... we watched 'Dream House'.

You want comment on the movie? Alright, I am not a movie reviewer but I thought it was a horror movie. =.=

OK, I am afraid of ghosts and blood. I don't watch Saw or Final Destination, or Paranormal Activities.

I was so afraid it's a horror movie. The Chinese name for this movie was so different than the other language. I remembered my bro said 'Tengok, nama pun cantik: Rumah Impian'.

'Apa you tahu tentang tulisan Cina? Ia refer 'Rumah Berhantu',' I shot back.

I was so scared I am going to shut my eyes throughout the film.

Haha, thanks for the sentence bro: "I am always on your left." Haha... Haha... you keep making me cheerful throughout the film... Sorry la, mempersiasui you. But I like your joke "We take couple seat, mau?"

OK, if you wonder whether we took couple seat, well...

Brothers and brothers. Different. Happy.

All the best and safe journey to Perlis, Amirul!
All the best to your studies and everything, JuanWyn!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Shell [Episode 11]

Picking back up from the previous episodes, Jane Soutaine was kidnapped by the Traveller who told her about the Earth as a vast information storage centre and the Driver was an entity projected by the mysterious cylinder. The Traveller then asked her what does she know about the periodic mass extinction throughout the history of the Earth...

'You must know that this mission is critical for our survival,' the Traveller said. 'So you must understand some basics before I put you onboard for the mission.'

'Spill it out,' Jane said, still pointing the Platzen gun at him,

'The mass extinctions which one of the most famous ones is the one that wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago are meant to be deliberate,' the Traveller said. He raised his palm, anticipating that Jane would respond to him. 'Information is not handled properly. Numerous glitches and errors had been encountered that the information is corrupted, no longer to be used by the Superior beings.'

'How the hell did you know all these stuff?' Jane asked.

'I got so many time to learn after I am unplugged.'

'What's it going to do with Dan?'

'I want you to drive some of the major asteroids towards Earth, starting with Ceres,' the Traveller said.

'What?' she powered up her gun again.

'It has to be done. You are the glitch. The glitch has to be wiped out before anyone notices. Right now, Dan and his agents are the one erasing the glitch. But the murder of Jane Soutaine and the shrinking of Earth is noticeable. You have told this information to Dan in the restaurant. There are chances that someone overheard it and passed on the info to others. This vast information storage is corrupted.'

'Then I would rather let Dan kill me to solve the problem.'

'But the information still persist in the system,' the Traveller noted.

'Dan is one of the Eraserheads. He knows what to do,' Jane said.

'He can't. The system is contaminated before he killed Jane Soutaine.'

'So, I am to do the job of erasing?' Jane asked.

'Yes, and to stop Dan for coming out of Earth.'

'Why he will still come and get me?'

'You are the glitch.'

'After I punch the Earth with asteroids, he would be dead.'

'He won't. He is a programme.'

'Talk to me, old man.'

'Dan is a programme designed to erase anomalies. I lied to you earlier on. He is a rogue programme. He wants to get out of Earth as soon as possible to free Earth from the Shell,' the Traveller said.

'Isn't that a good thing?'

'Look, we've been through this already. I will tell you, you have no idea what's it like beyond the Shell.'

She fired another warning shot from the Platzen gun. 'Well, try me.'

'You are not ready. The Shell... beyond it... it is too complex to say in words. But mark my words, it's safer to initiate another mass extinction than to open up the Shell.'


She was being led by the Driver to a cargo hold of the station. The cargo was in sleek white, no sharp edge like crude machinery and there was a a beautiful white ship parked in the middle. It looked like a smooth head fish with sharp tapering tail, two fins flanked open by its sides, and a dorsal fin across its spine. However, there was no noticeable engine drive.

'It rides along the fabric of space-time, like a stone skipping on water,' the Driver said.

'Are you a programme from the cylinder?' she asked.

'Get into the ship,' the Driver said.

'I take that as a yes,' she said. A door opened when they approached the white ship. She climbed in. 'I don't know how to drive it.'

'Place your helmet on and it will do the rest,' the Driver said. Before he closed the door, he said, 'Have fun.'

Inside the ship was futuristic. Of course she had skipped 40 years into the future for yet-to-be revealed reason. Even her mission of killing Dan was too brief. She suspected that it would end that quick. There was something in her mind that this mission was way too complicated that it seemed. She checked her back and found the Platzen gun still there. She saw no controls on the dashboard and she began to wonder.

'Where is that helmet?' she grumbled.

Then, above her, a helmet fell. She was surprised by it. She couldn't find any hidden compartment above her. She shrugged and placed it on her head. Then she felt different.

She went into clouds and became the ship. She can feel her head protruding and a tail behind her. She could feel the weapons under her. She was assimilated to the ship.

'Door opening in three seconds...' the Driver spoke from outside through a communication channel. 'In three... two... one... time to eject, Jane.'

She saw the black space ahead and she urged herself to move. She was thinking like a ship now. She wanted to fly like a bird. And, the ship did move. It accelerated by unknown means and cast into the black sea of stars and travelled to the direction of the Earth

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


I am a fool. No doubt.
I am weak. No doubt.

Besides I have my bruder on my side, I still thinking of impossible targets as my best friend. Stupid. But anyway, I love my bruder all the time. I already made a promise not to be like that anymore, just because I am sensitive.

Hmm, I woke up after a nap, feeling myself have been dealing with a wrong person. I don't know who. It can't possibly my bruder. He is never wrong in my entire life (OK, semester, whatever). So, you think I am going emo again. LOL. No, I'm not. This is human, getting hungry even though he got another meat.

He just have to have another piece of meat.


Last time I used to mention, I would like to meet someone who never smokes, never drinks, caring, unselfish, respect, happy and knowledgeable as my best friend.

Nah, I don't think that will happen. Because, I already have my bruder in my head all the time. It's like a lighting beacon. Anything happens I would immediately find my bruder. LOL.

So what is exactly my point of blogging?

Creating craps. Lots of them.

Maybe you all got crazy because I sometimes (or, always?) mention my bruder, but I tell you, it's not because I am insane. It's because I am too proud to tell everyone my dream came true after so many years. LOL. I don't know if bruder is reading this, but I don't care. It's been in me for like, erm, almost a hundred days!

Actually my strong desire to have such friend (now is bruder, no longer a friend. LOL) is from two person. I won't mention in full, but it is T and J that taught me. The real brotherhood beyond family.

Though I have lot to learn yet.

So, crapping finish. (Told you it's a hell lot of crap)

I would like to share this to you all:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Maze of Moments

I walk the maze of moments
but everywhere I turn to
begins a new beginning
but never finds a finish
I walk to the horizon
and there I find another
it all seems so surprising
and then I find that I know

You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere is

The moon upon the ocean
is swept around in motion
but without ever knowing
the reason for its flowing
in motion on the ocean
the moon still keeps on moving
the waves still keep on waving
and I still keep on going

You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere is

I wonder if the stars sign
the life that is to be mine
and would they let their light shine
enough for me to follow
I look up to the heavens
but night has clouded over
no spark of constellation
no Vela  no Orion

The shells upon the warm sands
have taken from their own lands
the echo of their story
but all I hear are low sounds
as pillow words are weaving
and willow waves are leaving
but should I be believing
that I am only dreaming

You go there you're gone forever
I go there I'll lose my way
if we stay here we're not together
Anywhere is

To leave the thread of all time
and let it make a dark line
in hopes that I can still find
the way back to the moment
I took the turn and turned to
begin a new beginning
still looking for the answer
I cannot find the finish
it's either this or that way
it's one way or the other
it should be one direction
it could be on reflection
the turn I have just taken
the turn that I was making
I might be just beginning
I might be near the end

This song has made a change in my life. In case you don't understand what it means, it tells us our life is like a maze, each turn of the maze gives us a new chance or hope, there is no dead end as such, but it is an end that brings you wonder and then asks you to step back and turn the other way, but each time, you can only take one turn, not two or three.

Our life may be an endless journey, but sometimes things cannot come with us, that's the phrase "You go there you're gone forever, I go there I'll lose my way, if we stay here we're not together, anywhere is."

You leave my life, you are forever gone, if I go myself, I will lose myself in the midst of mazes, but if we continue to stay here but never together, anywhere is the same thing for us.

To all of you who thinks your life is miserable, this is a song to let you know, you have admired the beauty of one turn, it's time to move on, take another turn.

[PS: this song is echoing in my head since I woke up. Cheers!]

Friday, September 16, 2011


I am sorry my stavlenniks. I never meant to be like this. I am really sorry.

I didn't have time to see you. I didn't know what trouble you have bumped into, across or through. Whatever. I am sorry when you told me about what happened. I was... stunned. I didn't know what to do. I don't know what I can do to help you.

I don't want to see you so depressed. I am scared, stavelennik. More scared than myself. Especially when you said something about dying. I will reach out to you if I have the chance. But... you went off.

I am so guilty. I don't know what kind of person am I now. I remembered promising you so much about helping, but in the end, I didn't. I am so sorry. What has gone into me? I forgot how to guide you all and help you all and most of all, care for you all.

I am so sorry, my stavlenniks. I thought...

I blame myself for not spending any time with you, not knowing how's your progress, problems and your life. I promise myself, next semester, I will be on your side every weekend. I will. TRUST ME. I will spend the entire day with you. More than anyone else, just to give you the confidence you lost, just to redeem what I had done wrong.

My stavlenniks, I will always be with you. Really.

I am sad when you are sad. And, as I promised, I will make that up for you. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I am sorry I can't be a better counsellor when you approached me. I wasn't ready. I was, studying and youtube-ing.

I will pay more attention to you, my stavlenniks. That's a promise.

I will go back to my secondary school days. Once glorious, forever glory.

And yes, you can call me by Neruvatar. I agreed on that. Call me that name wherever you want. I gave you the 'access' =). Not everyone calls me that. Hope it makes you feel great after reading this (if you are reading)!

Wait till I finish my finals, then I will be on your side!

"Once glorious, forever glory"



Sometimes it's true not to compare, or else you leave graven valleys cutting across your heart that at last, you don't know who to turn to to speak about it.

I didn't have a good sleep just now. I realise my life has been a failure despite I thought it was glorious. I did nothing for myself. I did everything for others. I lost myself. I am like a Magic Mirror, showing and telling people that they will be awesome.

But me?

Who will be my Magic Mirror?

Sometimes it pays to handle the truth. After always throwing tantrum on my most caring person after my family, I realise it is time I should control myself and help myself. I don't know what can I do next, but the first thing is to calm my emotional tsunami that never dies down in my heart.

It's afternoon now but my heart is like a Paris morning where grey clouds and white drizzles pour under the Eiffel Tower. Even the most luscious red of the rose cannot fight with the gloominess of my heart sky.

But, when I think of what I had done yesterday night, it makes me smile. At least there is a shed of light shining upon me when I am not with my family. A shed of light that is always there when I sometimes need it.

I thank you, mein liebster bruder. You are nice and friendly. Thank you so much. I don't think there's other way to compensate whatever you have done so far.

For this, I dedicate this for you:

Ba dheas an lá go oiche
Na glórtha binne i mo thaobh
'S aoibhneas i gach áit gan gruaim
Áthas ar mo chroí go deo

Ma shiúlaim ó na laetha beo
An ghrian 's an ghealach ar mo chúl
Nil uaim ach smaointe ó mo shaoil
Deora ar mo chroí go bron

It simply means:
How wonderful, from morning to night
the sweet voices at my side,
and happiness everywhere, without sorrow,
joy in my heart forever.

If I walk away from life,
the sun, the moon behind me,
I have only the memories of my life,
and sad tears in my heart.

Somehow I am getting calm this day. I might survive this day without any emotional turmoil.

People ask me, what song I listen to when I get very troubled and tensed? Well, here's your long awaited (some of you have been asking since 5 years ago) answer:

(In omos do me m'athair agus do mo mhathair)
Ag amharc trí m'óige
Is mé bhí sámh,
Gan eolas marbh
Bhí mé óg san am.

Anois, táim buartha,
'S fad ar shiúl an lá,
Ochón is ochón ó.

Na laetha geal m'óige
Bhí siad lán de dhóchas,
An bealach mór a bhí romham anonn
Bhí sé i ndán domh go mbeinn, slán, slán.
Anois, táim buartha,
'S fad ar shiúl an lá,
Ochón is ochón ó.
Na laetha geal m'óige
Bhí siad lán de dhóchas,
An bealach mór a bhí romham anonn
Bhí sé i ndán domh go mbeinn, slán, slán.
Anois, táim buartha,
'S fad ar shiúl an lá,
Ochón is ochón ó.

(in homage to my grandfather and my grandmother)

Looking back at my youth I was happy;
I was not aware of death then.
I was as a child.

Now, I am sorrowful,
Long gone the day.

The brighter days of my youth held promise,
The way before me held sure destiny.

Now, I am sorrowful,
Long gone the day.

The brighter days of my youth held promise,
The way before me held sure destiny.

Now, I am sorrowful,
Long gone the day.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I Wonder

Cycle 1:
Cheeky, boyish, naughty.

Cycle 2:
Strong, great brotherhood sense

Cycle 3:
Caring, funny

Cycle 4:
A counsellor

Cycle 5:
Dances and skateboards

Cycle 6:
Quick learner

I think I have come to a realisation that why there isn't a 7th Cycle coming up long. And I also think I know why I have all these Cycles, because the latest person I met, is the combination of all 6 Cycles. I think God wants me to know how to handle and communicate with all the 6 Cycles before I meet the real wish I have made.

All 6 Cycles fail, but some managed to revive. Somehow, I think the God's tests are over for this.

TTM and ketam too much.

Ciao, night!

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Sometimes, we rather give more to others to make them happy. Seeing them happy makes us happy too. But if the recipient is able to give some or share some back, in the end, both are not only happy, but happier.

Cheers for a new Age of Friendship and Love.

Me vs Internet

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Outrageous Oregano

Today, I got up and have myself a lofty breakfast (not sure whether "lofty" is a suitable word. It sounds suitable though. LOLx) of bread, jam, cheese, margerine, Campbell soup with crouton and coffee.

Oregano is always my favourite ingredient in my dishes. Those who have tried my cooking, oregano never fails me. It is 'herb-y' and refreshing. A very good antioxidant too.

And people ask me, how to cook them?

Today, I am teaching you NOT to cook them..... first.

Apply margerine on a bread, then sprinkle the oregano on top of it, approximately half to 1 full teaspoon. You can toast it on a sandwich maker if you want, or you just lay it face down on a hot frying pan to crisp it.

There you go, you have something as nice as a garlic bread with a tinge of pizza taste.

Yeah, you can add a slice of cheese above and sprinkle another layer of oregano. If you toast it, the cheese will melt and the oregano will squiggle into the melting cheese, liberating a fresh herby smell. Add some sausages if you want to!

Warning, though, do NOT add oregano on fruit jams or peanut butter. It just... doesn't match. It is... wrong. Tastes wrong, smells wrong and... just WRONG...

And you can also add oregano into your Campbell soup. Try it!

Ciao! Gotta enjoy my breakfast!

Friday, September 9, 2011


Sorry for some slight spelling and grammatical errors... ><


Mouth and lips bleeding for 2 days, dry throat for 2 days, swollen eye since yesterday

It's been a tough week. My mouth is so painful and my throat forever dry, no matter how much water I take in. Yeah, yeah, I have heard enough of 'Take care ah'. Thanks, anyway. Especially to Andy, who takes me round New Town to search for "special sweets" and told me when to eat them.

Yeah, it works. I have 6 more sweets to go, hope it will heal before next week.

Sigh, I am like a baby again. Little bit little bit problem have to ask help from everyone till they help me, and then I thank them from head to toe. But fortunately, yesterday wasn't the case. I didn't say anything much about my throat, but I still got help.

^^... Should I say I am touched? No, I think it is pure gladness and gratitude. I never feel like this before. It seems like I have been a crybaby for too long. =( Hmm...

Speaking of gratitude, I have (secretly) kept a book of a namelist. Those are the people who helped me everytime, and I am taking note so that I can repay them BEFORE I GRADUATE. I don't want to have any more ties to people after I graduate. No matter how thick or thin the ties are. Because, after I graduate, it is HARD to say that everyone I know here will continue to contact me.

I don't have Internet access at home, or rather, will never have.
I don't have transportation to travel wherever you stay.
So, it's pretty much a dead person for an electronic-compliant human being of the 21st century.

You all write letters to me (pfft, I don't think you will write), I can't reply, because I have to get a transport to take me to the post office to send the letters.

So, what can I say? Hmm, simple, a decent 'Bye-bye' will do. LOL.

I am only Y2S1 and I am speaking as though I am leaving already (which I...)....

Never mind, one day passed is another day coming... Who cares?

Maybe I have made a wrong decision this semester. I had a dream before and someone told me "He's been near but you never know and you get the wrong person..."

So, is it too late to change my view? LOL...

Till again for my daily grunting. Ciao.

Thursday, September 8, 2011


Zibei = looking down on ownself.

Despite everyone fears me, respect (?) me and joke with me, I am a slug. I don't do much. I laze around, but still minding people's business.

I don't have dreams, I realised. I always do something for the present day or maybe at most in the near future.

I am starting to doubt whether I am a male. Males are ambitious, stylistic, sporting, manly, smart-looking, stable, strong, determined...

I am having no dreams, artistic, sensitive, feminine, stern-looking, unstable, weak and sluggish.

I don't have the favour of looking big cars, big toys, electronic gadgets. I don't. I really don't. I prefer sitting in my hall around two-storeys high, filled entirely with books I love, reading there near an indoor perfumed fountain and relax on a shiny marble floor while a ceiling high window let me gaze into my garden.

I want to have three pianos. Three grand pianos. A telescope. A star chart drawn on my walls. A room with everything in copper (II) sulphate blue.

I am dreaming on having trapped in beauty and wonder, rather than storming out from the walls and venture into the exciting world of competition, pressure and sportastic events.

I don't.

Sometimes, I feel like killing myself and reborn again, so that I can see what went wrong during my lifetime. Maybe my friend was right, I was born as a loner, no matter how each of you comfort me by saying "I am here with you". It's just white lie just to keep me happy.

Saying of lies, some of you, I know, don't lie to me, but you all hide the truth from me. That's not quite the same thing, but it gives me more hurt. You hide it just to make me feel good, but do you know, when I discover the truth myself, the hurt is even worse? It's like cutting my own heart with my own pair of hands instead of your hands.

Today, I just discovered a lot of hidden truth, even from my closest friends.

I know I am a busybody, but the truth just blurted out accidentally. I didn't mean to get it. But once I get it, I know, now, I am a very fragile and sensitive guy, like Juan Wyn had said. I think so far, the most respectable friend I ever have is Juan Wyn, even though so many waters crossed under our bridges.

I missed his straightforwardness. I missed how he evaluates me.

I am getting more and more 'zibei'.

After this final, I tell myself this, I will not going to run along like this anymore. I have to live my own life. No more depending here and there.

I have a fragile heart, I know.

Go on, all of you, hide your truths from me, just because you 'assume' I will get hurt, or you 'assume' I don't need to know. Never mind, I am controlling now. I already foresee something bad going to happen soon, maybe next sem. I am already seeing a thunder in the horizon and I am prepared.

I speak like an old man, whine like a child, and I admit, I am no man. I am belong to nobody in this world, except my family in my hometown. No matter how each of you treat me, the deepening of the valley just got deeper in my heart.

It's OK.

I got used to it. And I can say, I love JingCong for his funniness and how he talks to me. I love Andy for listening to my cries and help me out. I love both of them. Of course with Alan Tan's stupid talking. LOL. I just love you guys.

Even though you didn't offer me the greatest, but you help me the most in my difficult time.

It's the only time, I can be myself with you guys.

Thank you for offering all the unnecessary ride just because of me. I will reset my target of helping 70 people a day next semester. You guys never ignore me. I just... being grateful....

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Exams are coming round. So, it's shitty.
It smells shitty
It tastes shitty
It feels shitty
It shits shitty


Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Alright, I am taking Basic Econometrics examination in a week, so let's start off with something irrelevant to Basic Econometrics. I tell you, I bet you, even a math genius cannot solve or prove this equation, unless he/she thinks out of the box.

Oops, leaked out a little extra information...

Again, as my usual weird behaviour. Warning: this math question is NOT for primary school students.

So, cut the ketam, and here it is.

The question is: Can you prove the integral of exponential to x degree equals to the function of "u" to the power of n?

 I give you 20 minutes to work out. No cheating! See this post after you have given up
You just can't be more hardworking and try it yourself, can't you? You lazy old bump! I should have known you better!!!

Well, here's the answer!


Go ahead, write/think/say the following to me:
1) ==   =.=   =.="  =.=""  or any variant
2) SWT!  SWT!!! or any variant
3) o0o  mlm or any variant
4) Fxxx! D**! or any variant
5) Haha  XD  LOL or any variant

Sunday, September 4, 2011



When two people exchange eye contact, it is TELEVISION. If they break the contact, it's DIVISION, then if one party turns back his/her head and see that person once more, it is REVISION.

The person who started the eye contact is PROVISION, while the receiving party is ENVISION. These two parties are called as VISIONARIES.

WARNING: It's just a lame fool I played while I am getting crazy from the pressure of studying. The words do not depict, denote, define or anyway conveying the real, true meanings.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Hairy Hair

This piccha explains everything...

Well, almost.

Since I was a little boy, I thought I am a clean-shaven type. You know, typically Chinese. Smooth and fair. Babysmooth (OK, I am exaggerating here). After puberty, then I expected to grow more hair, like at the armpits, legs, arms, and you-know-where.

It's normal. It's a meaning of I am (was?) entering a secondary sexual phase growth. We are supposed to grow leg hairs to show our masculinity, because we can't show our *ahem* as our masculinity to others.

Nowadays, I heard many boys are trying to be super clean-shaven. They feel like leg hairs and arm hairs are disgusting. Yucky. Looks dirty. They want to have smooth legs like girls. I was like, huh, you don't want to be man?

Yeah, bruder was (is?) right. Now girls want pretty boys, not handsome and manly boys. And I started wondering, if boys keep on spending time on beauty (unless you are facially challenged, no offence =P), how are they supposed to show their strength and power to take care a family from threats in the future?

Alpha dominion male gene type is diminishing in the 21st century. We will have cool, pretty boys and lovely, pretty, demanding, insisting girls (OK, I am being a sexist, sorry). Where is the power of men to stand and show their voice to protect the girls?

NONE...................................... I think.

OK, some said, no body hair doesn't mean they are not manly. But at least, please, I beg you 100 times, don't be SO AFRAID of the sun. I don't know whether you watched Twilight too much, or Angel too much. Men are NOT supposed to be too fair like a lady (unless you are genetically challenged, no offence =P).


I have seen boys riding on electro-bikes, with cap, long sleeves, long pants just to go to somewhere in 15 minutes. Hello? Is the sun so lethal?

OK, I don't want to make so many enemies. You have long body hair, be proud of it, it means your male hormones are kicking up a lot. If you don't, just be yourself. Don't go buy those beauty products for whoever or whatever's sake!

So where was (am?) I?

Oh yeah, puberty and secondary sexual phase growth. Or growth phase. Or growth. Whatever.

I realise, I am getting hairier nad hairier. Does that mean I have a tertiary sexual phase growth? Or 2.5 sexual phase growth? Or my secondary phase growth isn't finished yet? I am seeing hairs on my chest and tummy now. Not that LONG if you wonder. =.=

It's just around, you know, the "regular" 0.5cm to 1cm long. And it's NOT that thick in growth like a tuft of grass. Zzzz. You can only see it when you are very close at looking, around, erm, 10cm from me? Who gets that close to me after all? So don't freak out. That's all. Nothing to be afraid of. It's just a merely visible hair, which I am uncertain will it grow longer.

Maybe my body gets too cold often that my gene tweak to evolve me.

But seriously, is being a bear nice?

Or being a vampire?

[PS:  For those who 'EWWWWWW!!!!' at this post, well, grow up. It's my blog I can do whatever I want]