Calm

Sometimes it's true not to compare, or else you leave graven valleys cutting across your heart that at last, you don't know who to turn to to speak about it.

I didn't have a good sleep just now. I realise my life has been a failure despite I thought it was glorious. I did nothing for myself. I did everything for others. I lost myself. I am like a Magic Mirror, showing and telling people that they will be awesome.

But me?

Who will be my Magic Mirror?

Sometimes it pays to handle the truth. After always throwing tantrum on my most caring person after my family, I realise it is time I should control myself and help myself. I don't know what can I do next, but the first thing is to calm my emotional tsunami that never dies down in my heart.

It's afternoon now but my heart is like a Paris morning where grey clouds and white drizzles pour under the Eiffel Tower. Even the most luscious red of the rose cannot fight with the gloominess of my heart sky.

But, when I think of what I had done yesterday night, it makes me smile. At least there is a shed of light shining upon me when I am not with my family. A shed of light that is always there when I sometimes need it.

I thank you, mein liebster bruder. You are nice and friendly. Thank you so much. I don't think there's other way to compensate whatever you have done so far.

For this, I dedicate this for you:

Ba dheas an lá go oiche
Na glórtha binne i mo thaobh
'S aoibhneas i gach áit gan gruaim
Áthas ar mo chroí go deo

Ma shiúlaim ó na laetha beo
An ghrian 's an ghealach ar mo chúl
Nil uaim ach smaointe ó mo shaoil
Deora ar mo chroí go bron

It simply means:
How wonderful, from morning to night
the sweet voices at my side,
and happiness everywhere, without sorrow,
joy in my heart forever.

If I walk away from life,
the sun, the moon behind me,
I have only the memories of my life,
and sad tears in my heart.

Somehow I am getting calm this day. I might survive this day without any emotional turmoil.


People ask me, what song I listen to when I get very troubled and tensed? Well, here's your long awaited (some of you have been asking since 5 years ago) answer:

(In omos do me m'athair agus do mo mhathair)
Ag amharc trí m'óige
Is mé bhí sámh,
Gan eolas marbh
Bhí mé óg san am.

Anois, táim buartha,
'S fad ar shiúl an lá,
Ochón is ochón ó.

Na laetha geal m'óige
Bhí siad lán de dhóchas,
An bealach mór a bhí romham anonn
Bhí sé i ndán domh go mbeinn, slán, slán.
Anois, táim buartha,
'S fad ar shiúl an lá,
Ochón is ochón ó.
Na laetha geal m'óige
Bhí siad lán de dhóchas,
An bealach mór a bhí romham anonn
Bhí sé i ndán domh go mbeinn, slán, slán.
Anois, táim buartha,
'S fad ar shiúl an lá,
Ochón is ochón ó.

Translation:

(in homage to my grandfather and my grandmother)

Looking back at my youth I was happy;
I was not aware of death then.
I was as a child.

Now, I am sorrowful,
Long gone the day.


The brighter days of my youth held promise,
The way before me held sure destiny.

Now, I am sorrowful,
Long gone the day.


The brighter days of my youth held promise,
The way before me held sure destiny.

Now, I am sorrowful,
Long gone the day.