Friday, September 16, 2011


I am sorry my stavlenniks. I never meant to be like this. I am really sorry.

I didn't have time to see you. I didn't know what trouble you have bumped into, across or through. Whatever. I am sorry when you told me about what happened. I was... stunned. I didn't know what to do. I don't know what I can do to help you.

I don't want to see you so depressed. I am scared, stavelennik. More scared than myself. Especially when you said something about dying. I will reach out to you if I have the chance. But... you went off.

I am so guilty. I don't know what kind of person am I now. I remembered promising you so much about helping, but in the end, I didn't. I am so sorry. What has gone into me? I forgot how to guide you all and help you all and most of all, care for you all.

I am so sorry, my stavlenniks. I thought...

I blame myself for not spending any time with you, not knowing how's your progress, problems and your life. I promise myself, next semester, I will be on your side every weekend. I will. TRUST ME. I will spend the entire day with you. More than anyone else, just to give you the confidence you lost, just to redeem what I had done wrong.

My stavlenniks, I will always be with you. Really.

I am sad when you are sad. And, as I promised, I will make that up for you. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I am sorry I can't be a better counsellor when you approached me. I wasn't ready. I was, studying and youtube-ing.

I will pay more attention to you, my stavlenniks. That's a promise.

I will go back to my secondary school days. Once glorious, forever glory.

And yes, you can call me by Neruvatar. I agreed on that. Call me that name wherever you want. I gave you the 'access' =). Not everyone calls me that. Hope it makes you feel great after reading this (if you are reading)!

Wait till I finish my finals, then I will be on your side!

"Once glorious, forever glory"


No comments:

Post a Comment