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Friday, September 30, 2011

Sensitive

I love the time when I can't go online. Now, when I just log into facebook, darn, things keep popping up. Things that I don't like to see. I hope it should be alright.

People tell me, if someone broke your heart, break it back. They will know the pain you suffered.

I was like, that's a good idea.

And I was wrong. Terribly wrong.

I easily fall in love with someone who treats me nice. I am sensitive. More sensitive.

I start to wonder, where is my iron heart and steel will? I used to be emotionless. I used to be strict. I used to be that guy who never smiles or laughs at any jokes.

Where am I? Who am I?

I changed. I metamorphosized. I am not who I am anymore. I changed too much. I was once a playful, curious boy who scares of everything but dares to do anything. Then, I changed to an iron figure lasting for about several years, till someone told me about Black Jack, and how he said 'I will change you till you gonna smile. Even if it costs me my life'.

I changed during NS as a joker. I tried being helpful. I tried to erase the racist border between two races. A mere diplomat. And when I came to UTAR, I changed to a sensitive guy. Is it true that we have a phase in our lives that we need companion? Is it because I need a companion, that's why I got sensitive?

I don't know.

Thinking back, I might NOT drop any subjects next semester, even if it stresses me out. So what? I am glad my time is 8am to 8pm. I don't want to spend a svinoi second on the Internet or other personal stuff. I will go the usual life: eat, sleep, study.

There will be no room for me to get sensitive. Haha. Can't say whether I am going to miss JingCong or his saxophone. Damn, suddenly I feel like next semester is going to be a very lonely one. Well, still thanks to my jam-packed timetable, I don't think I have time to mix around with people.

One more year to go. And I can make it.

I have to enjoy how school life is. Not youngster life. School life is about studying with friends. Only youngster life is about having fun. I have to try to rewind my life back to when I was in secondary school.

I have 7 weeks to prove myself.

This blog entry is now closed for the moment. See you all physically next two weeks (or maybe earlier)!

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