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Sunday, May 27, 2012


I am not going to mention who, but if that somebody reads it and have a perasan feeling, then it is that somebody I am referring to,

This somebody is a great friend. I can't say we are very very very close, but something in that somebody makes me feel good every time! When I am in trouble, that somebody won't be like other people who keep saying, "don't worry, Support here!" and stuffs like that. That somebody actually helps me up and slowly direct me to a correct and soothing way.

I can't disagree that I used to have a minor conflict with that somebody. But at least that somebody is nice. Real nice. At least that somebody is willingly helpful and appears as when I need help without me making calls or SMSes. And, that somebody is not irritating when helping. You know, some people when they are clubbing and you are breaking up with your girlfriend and then they tell you, "I understand how you feel, but cheers! I be there for you!'

Ahem, I mean, hello? You are enjoying yourself there and you said you understand feelings?


That's so wrong in so many ways.

I always wanted to thank that somebody properly but all that somebody said is 'It's ok. NP.' So, I always send my heartfelt gratitude in my heart. I am glad to have that somebody even though that somebody is not very close to me.

I guess there is a Goldilock's Zone for relationship as well! (Search for planetary Goldilocks' Zone and you will understand what I'm saying here.)

I.... am lovin' you, somebody!

Saturday, May 26, 2012


There is a reason why I drew this. Anyway I am glad this picture turns out to cheer my heart!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Sembreak much?

My semester break main activities, excluding my daily life and some bad news happening around. But actually this pic only depicts my awesome trip with my awesome bruder.

Friday, May 18, 2012

The Cycle Is Near

Hmm, well, bring it on, Cycle! I ain't afraid of you anymore. This time I am prepared. Prepared for even more...!

All of my Cycles have their fathers in a particular pattern. Those fathers who exhibits those patterns are most likely part of the cycles. Don't ask me what are the cycles, I am too lazy to re-explain.

Main point is, I am READY for it! Bring it on! My pole is ready to pierce you into pieces!


No, it's not LV, it's VL.

I think I should confess that I am 70% into VL now. I am worried. I thought I wouldn't happen. But it still happens. It's like a worm in my heart, slowly manifesting and protruding out from my heart.

I don't know what to do with this VL. Unless the other party is willing to commit into VL, then I guess it should be a 'happily ever after' ending. Or, is it not?

Conflicting emotions send turmoil in my soul. I should not have done that. Seriously. It is now tearing me apart. Should I 'longkang' it? Should I? Dear blog, I really don't know what to do, let alone who to talk to!

Well, when I usually reject those who never reply message, I really do. It's sort of disrespect and self-respect. So, there goes a number of contacts I cancel out. So that leaves...


I can't believe it!

Can God just reformat my brain? I don't want this to happen. I want... I want to forget who I have met that has caused me such grave injury.

Enuff said, I shouldn't be online at all.

*sigh* worse semreak after all

Saturday, May 12, 2012


Specially to:
My beloved brother who always stand by me whenever I need help
My bro from Setapak who never fails to entertain me
My bro from Egypt who always joke with me
My coursemates Puay Cian and Sock Thing who never got angry with me
Weivian who somehow reactivate my old part of brain
ARVA mates and friends
Lecturers who somehow makes me feel like I am getting older by the day
Rachel, specially, because somehow she is a very good friend
Sandwiches who never fail my appetite

Brother Dinner

I am so happy that my brother is willing to stay back, wait for my exam to finish and go down to Ipoh with me tomorrow. And he made me a promise about ten years once. Hehe. Not going to tell you here!

We went to Vegas to eat then went to Yau Kee curry chicken bread to eat, then go buy some cookies for our respective families.

Oh, brother, you are my only family in Kampar! Love you!

Friday, May 11, 2012


OK, this post is meant specifically for me and my feelings, cuz nobody is free enough to listen and, somehow this is meant to be a secret, so if you don't understand what I am writing here, then forget it, you won't because I encode it and I use euphemistic words. Thanks.

I think I am committing into VL. I can't help it. I need to pull myself out. I always wanted L to fall with me on a hay and we would be milking cows. I so wanted to slide on the trunk but I can't because this is VL. It's not supposed to happen. I have broken everything out but seems like secrets of someone is still withheld. I wanted to know more, but it just didn't divulge. Please, God, save me from this misery. Am I really committing into VL? Am I? I don't hope much on the day. I hope just a smack would suffice. Or maybe something as worse as raining together.


Monday, May 7, 2012


If my friends didn't remind me, I wouldn't have noticed that I never been to a trip with my friends to anywhere for fun. Never. Really. Primary 6, the trip to Langkawi? I didn't go because of SARS. PMR trip to Genting? I can't go to Genting. Form 4 to Genting and Cameron, I can't, because these two places are prohibited for me.

I never have a proper time off for myself. I have been busy with writing novels, playing piano, studying and drawing, busybodying with events and last of all, playing computer games at home.

I wonder how is it like staying in a hotel room with my friends. How is it like taking taxis to go to theme park or beach with my friends. I never have that kind of experience. Yeah, my life is sad and boring as you all have said it a thousand times.

"What do you usually do during sembreaks? No hangouts?"

I can reply you: NO. NO HANGOUTS.

I am just staying at home. Wake up in the mornings, have breakfast, wash clothes, play piano, read newspaper, write novels, lunch, play computer games, piano, dinner, TV, novels, SLEEP.


I guess my life is really boring huh. And because of that, I'm a boring guy except when chatting. I don't know about cars and techs gadgets. I don't know about clubbings. I just know, in the universe of people and friends, I am just a lonely guy who sits in the corner picking uninteresting pebbles to play.

Well, maybe next sem, if I have the chance, I will buy myself a train ticket and head down to K.Lumpur and take a round trip before coming back. Maybe. If I have the guts, that's the condition.

Haiz. I should have not reactivate my Facebook. Every time I see those fun times my friends are having, I always ask myself why I never had the chance to hangout. Perhaps because I can't go online during my sembreak. Everybody was invited through the internet.

Eff you internet!

"MZ, why nobody dates you out for dinner?"

"Got, only a few, like Dinesh, Andy, Domdom and rare occasions with Ziting and Jasclyn."

"None of your coursemates?"

"Well, I saw some of them having dinner. I asked on Facebook, but they didn't reply me. I guess I am not worth having dinner with them."

"Is it something wrong with you that causes them not to invite you?"

"Yeah, maybe. I have thought about this many times but I can't figure out why. I didn't EMO like last time. I mean, I love dinner with my friends, why would I emo in front of them? I only emo when there's nobody dinner with me. Ah, never mind. It is fated. Let's wait after graduation, perhaps my working life can make my life a twist!"

Nuff said. I hate myself and love myself.

Good morning, and you're watching Neruvatar's Cry.

Friday, May 4, 2012

My Old Bones Ache

Guess who said the title?
No, I am not going to give you the answer.

I realised I should be back to Kedah instead of Ipoh. City life makes me seriously uncomfortable. First, don't know whose tradition, at the stipulated age, we must go clubbing. Second, I forgot.

I am a bit useless in outdoors. My god. I only camp once in my life (If you take PLKN in as well, then twice). I have NO outdoor activities (unless you take in badminton). I only play piano and write novels.


I don't swim. I don't club. I don't fish. I don't sing.

No wonder nobody dates me out...