I Am A Beggar of Food

4 years and still without dinner mates. Can you believe that? Everytime I have to beg people to have dinner with me and most of the time nobody wants to. I am very, very sad and tired by the fact that I am so pitiful when it comes to eating.

Delivery? Hell, no. Delivery always makes my stomach out-turn, or maybe causes vomitting at the rear. Delivery food are so oily and unhealthy. One dish + Rice = RM4. Would you believe that? I mean if I eat occasionally, that would be OK for me. But every evening? Seriously?

I don't know if anyone could understand my sadness. I can see everyone going out for dinner and you can't join them because they say, 'Sorry, I have a date with friend already. Next time...' and some of them even have the choice to say 'I go out till sien already. Tonight I am cooking for dinner.' If you ask 'Can I join?', they would just reply, 'Huh? I cook only for myself..."

Sad, isn't it?

*Munching ChipsMore*

I don't eat alone. It feels even sadder. I don't want to look pitiful in front of public, especially when you see your friends having the meal at the same place with you.

*Forever Alone*

Then people ask about my bruder. 'Didn't he take you out for dinner?'

I choked on my saliva. Yes, he does, in a very, very rare occasion. I don't think he even knows how sad I am. If I were him, and he were me, I would have asked him for dinner before someone asked me out. And if someone really asked me out, I would ask him whether he wants me to tabao, or maybe, if I am going to somewhere exotic, like Secret Recipe, or Pizza Hut, I will somehow pack some snacks from there to bring for him. It's because I have a car (if I were him, I re-stress that point). I have a car and I will do whatever it takes to stop making him feeling lonely.

I will not choose to have fun meals with my friends if I know he hasn't taken meals and still hungry, hoping for someone to go out with him.

Yeah, lots of 'ifs'.

Sadly, things don't come that true to what you expect, right?

Hmm, one more semester and I'll be gone from UTAR's face. I hope I made a better change next time.

*Munching... eh? ChipsMore finished!*

Sad. Real sad.

I will carry my tears with me to my bed and lay them on my pillow.

If only I have dinner mates...