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Monday, September 3, 2012

You

Now I found out you never acknowledge my presence in front of everyone. Not my existence, but presence. You are like making me feel that I am something very very lowbeing, except in front of me, you mengagung-agungkan me. What's the use anyway? I am still a lowlife bitch.

I got 'bland'. I feel tired. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be the one who suffer all this shit. If you are so afraid of acknowledging me in public, then don't acknowledge me at all, at any time. I don't want that fake treatment.

I know now I am a stupid bitch. I hope after my internship and when I come back, I don't want to acknowledge you anymore.

I prefer X. X is better. X cares for me most at times when I need X. You? You only know how to say the same things again and again. X is different. X tries to understand the problem and help me out of it and at the same time advising me and comforting me. You? Pure comfort.

Does that make a difference? Yes, (un)fortunately.

I hate you.

I never say something that crude before, but yes, I hate you. I hate you for making me trapping in this twisting world of relationship. I hate you for so fearing of acknowledging me (even asking you to take a photo of us is like asking you to cut your head into pieces).

Well, I'm done. I should NOT do anything anymore. Let it be and let our relationship fades off like a nova after time.

Bye.

PS: I chose to swallow this bitter pill and in hope, in time, the pill does me good more than harm and in time, it will get digested and I will never ever know you.

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