Reynoldian

So much about Vernian, or Vernean, or Vernien (derived from Vernes) the author of Journey to the Centre of the Earth. Strange but loyal followers-cum-believers of Vernes are regarded as the listed callings above.

Me? I am afraid I am falling into a black hole brought to life by Alastair Reynolds. I first read his novel when it was the year 2006 or so. It was the less-than-half-a-dozen times trip to KL and my aunt brought my family and I to 1Utama.

I brought wreckage at the double-storeyed MPH bookstores.

I saw his book. And I knew mum wouldn't let me to buy it (because of my poor results, lazy attitude). So I just 'window-booking'. But then, mum suddenly allowed me to buy books. My elder bro asked me wanna buy some books author called "Alla something". I sensed his thoughts. I raced to the shelves and took the first book out of the entire lot, titled "Pushing Ice".

Alastair Reynolds, konon. 'Alla something', huh?

There are two factors that drove me to buy this title. And please don't laugh at me.

Number 1: the cover page is blue. It is close to copper (ii) sulphate solution colour. My favourite colour. My precious.

Number 2: the time setting is not too far fetch. Just around 2057. Half a century from now. But drives the entire crew to 260 light years away, stumbling an 18,000-year-old human relic.

For the science nerds, your jaw may fall. How can the time and light (years) don't add up? Nothing travels faster than the speed of light! Well, go read this book. Alastair definitely did not write anything about FTL (faster-than-light).

Now, the new trilogy (not really in series. It's broken into 3 books with standalone characters, but continuous quest and journey and adventure) called the Poseidon's Children is out next year for UK version in M'sia Kinokuniya!

Me likey!

Best thing is, it has a book trailer. @@

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIbf2RcSgDA

The Cobbler (Story of my KL life)

Based on a true story/experience of mine.


My shoe was ripped when I walked and tripped on a carpet. I went to a cobbler by a street and asked him to fix for me. And thus we exchanged a few words. More than a few, I assure you.

He came from Indonesia, and he is currently taking over his uncle's job as his uncle has gone back to Indonesia 'balik kampung'. He is a very shy guy. He quietly sits by a low stool and stare at passerbys with his big mouse-like eyes, hoping one of the busy business people would stop by and have their shoes cleaned or fixed.

I remembered the moment he smiled when I approached him.

'Kasut rosak?' he asked, staring down at my right foot.

I nodded.

'Dua-dua pun mesti buat,' he said firmly.

In my heart, I was thinking: what? This is a cheater! How can he fix both my shoes when only one of mine is spoilt! I looked down to my left foot. The 'unharmed' one. He pointed at it and instructed me to take it off. At first, I was very reluctant. Then, just for the sake of getting my shoes done quickly so I could get back to work, I took of my left shoe.

To my surprise, I realised my left shoe was cracked (quietly) along the sole and the leather. It was barely noticeable unless I twist my shoe in an odd angle! How could he know!

So I took off my shoes, sat on another stool and began a conversation with him. But he told me to have my meal first. I couldn't refuse. I went to gobble my food and ran back there and continued our talk.

Through the conversation, I have begun to understand more about myself: I am introvert. Very introvert. I prefer to get myself smiling for tiny little deeds and never laugh out loud. I love joining small companies and have a nice and neat chit-chat, rather than a thunderous laughter and roaring shouts of parties. I don't like beer, as such. I don't even like my close friend touching strong alcohols. I mean, you can have a can, but don't drown yourself with a dozen.

Rude. Immoral.

I take care of people, but I require the same, because I am taking pieces of my heart to care for people, and so I need them to  repair me as well. Reciprocity. That's who I am.

I want people to feel warm when they are with me. I stick very close to a particular group. I belong to that group and that group must have me. I cannot tolerate that group going off finding others and be grouped with them.

And because of such needs, I need a close companion. Not of a lover, but something different. Unfortunately, in this world, people like such is very rare. So rare that till now I have yet to come across with such. Maybe I should visit institutes for the special people and autistics. Perhaps I can find there. It's not an insult, it's true.

'You tak suka happy dengan banyak orang?' I asked, forgive my broken language.

'Tak,' he shook his head as he sewed my shoes. 'Sorang happy lagi best dari dibuat happy oleh dia orang.' He flashed me with a semi-toothless smile.

So did I get my right companion that I wish for? I don't think so. So far, that Z. Yang is like a flashbulb. Sometimes bright and sometimes dim. Sometimes warm and sometimes cold. Sometimes near and yet so far because I know he has a lot of people he needs to shine at.

So definitely not him. Perhaps I got myself a wrong wish. But at the first place, why do I have such wish?

My last semester is coming, part of me want to spend this entire semester alone. Just some tag-alongs and piano friends. I already made two mental trips down to Kuala Lumpur secretly. I didn't make it last time, but this time round, I have already made such bookings. I love Kuala Lumpur for one thing, it gave me the warmth of being alone. The fire of solitude.

It's... nice.

My shoes got fixed in 30 minutes. Something struck in my head. The cobbler smiled at me again. I asked him to wait, took a pair of spare slippers from him and dashed to a bread shop, bought a RM5 wholemeal cereal, cheese + chicken + lettuce burger and ran back to the cobbler.

'Berapa?' I asked.

'Dua kasut, RM15,' he said with a nod.

I took out RM20, and handed him the burger. 'Makan kenyang-kenyang. For you.'

He was surprise. Maybe I was imagining, but I am sure his eyes was wetter by 5%. He grinned from ear to ear, with reddened cheeks. 'Tuk saya?'

'Ya, from me, to you, with love and thanks,' I am not sure whether he understands that, but he kept nodding. 'Makanlah, saya nak balik kerja. Thanks, bye!'

And I spun, taking my petty careful steps - not to spoil my shoes again - to my office.

In the crowded streets of CapSquare, Kuala Lumpur, the body heat maybe intolerable. But I am sure that I am giving something of heat that's not quite the same:

The heat that smiles.

Pursue

What have I been pursuing for the last ten years? I longed to have a very, very best friend/brother. The one that looks like we grew up playing together, sharing stuffs and stuffs more. Because of that, I have turned into a hideous monster. A very possessive and insisting monster.

What is it I have got for one year plus? A human being nothing but enslaved for responsibility and dependency. Is that what I am getting after ten years? I have asked myself for many times. What is it that I want? Did I get it/

It seems like a strong 'yes' in the first few months, but the answer has subsided, or melted, into something in between hesitation and ignorance. What is it that I want actually? I now realise, this dream I have been pursuing is still a dream. Impossible. Presposterous. Unless time flows back to when I am a kid, I go and mix and find someone to grow up with.

Petty nonsense, isn't it?

So instead of continue dreaming about it, I made my first move: Move.

I will give myself a space. 5 years, perhaps. I don't know how long it would take. But I hope the lines would snap off gracefully across the time to my graduation ceremony. I don't want any ropes tying on someone so strong that I feel hurt to severe it.

Alone, may be much better.

Brotherhood is all but a dream. In fact there is someone I treasure most. I don't know why. The comfort I get, the confidence I gain. It's nothing compared to what had happened all these times.

I am happy now.

I am liberated.

May all of you bless me.

TQ. Till we meet again.

Day 0 - Internship Log

Landed at Sri Damansara yesterday and tonight is the night I should be preparing for tomorrow's first day of internship training. Yay. Too bad this house only has broadband service which is a super slow one. But never mind, I don't think I can online often too, but I will try my best to update my blog every day for these log entries.

Dada and mama backed to Ipoh already, somehow I feel alone. But I hope it's ok cuz last time when I felt the same feeling, it eases away two days later.

I miss my bruder very much. I want to hug him again. =(. I don't know how to describe the feeling. I want to see his face and hear him laugh again. Now I know how much of a fuel to me as a driver forward.

I made a promise, to be a better guy within these 3 months. I want him to be proud of me. Of course, my family is already proud of me and I am going to make them proud-er. But now I am talking about my bruder. I want him to see me as a grown guy, no longer such 'kecil hati' anymore. I have trained my emotions and I will continue. Last time my emotion line is like this:

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ where by the upper peak is angry and lower peak is sadness.

I have trained to less angrier and the sad peak is still there. Gotta control ownself before controlling others, they say, eh?

I whisper to myself this: once I get back to Kampar, the first thing I am going to do after chugging my luggage down is run to his house and give him a bear hug so tight that we can feel our heartbeats.

Hehe.. Nuff said, gotta sign off. Love ya!

WarCraft ||| Map

I don't know what to describe me. I know it's exam time but I have done such things:

 

I have designed a WarCraft III Map!

 

It took me two days but not exactly more than 30 hours in doing it, because I have short attention span. One minute I am designing it, and another minute I study my notes. And without further ado, I present to you, my map (inspired by the geological features from my novel)!

ABOVE: So, this is a bird-eye view of the entire map. Top left corner is Player 1's (YOU) base. And the base is situated at a hill surrounded by a wall and a thick door. Look, this is a screenshot of it:

 

ABOVE and BELOW: Notice the agrarian culture of your city. But look out, you might think it is safe to hide behind the walls and just mine, mine and mine gold and resources huh? Well you are dead wrong! The door provided serves both as a defend and as a... door. Open the door and the enemies will swarm in, but if you don't, the enemies will have air assault on you! So what's your choice?

 

 

 

ABOVE: The farmer's wife and his children, happily minding their own business in shepherding and wheat-harvesting. They don't mean anything. Yes, seriously, they don't.

 

 

 

ABOVE: (Felwood) Why am I showing you this? Well, look carefully, something is hidden amidst the rocks. And a little spoiler, if your armies and heroes are below Level 4, do not enter this dangerous gloomy forest. Don't. Just, don't.

 

 

 

ABOVE: The grandest waterfall. (Though there is a reason why that statue is pointing in that direction. And there's a reason why that statue is that model)

 

 

 

ABOVE: The Green Dragon Valley. Yup, the name pretty obviously point to something there right? This is the valley shot. A lonely gold mine hopes to be exploit disastrously. The green forest on the right is actually growing on a tall mountain where... (no, not where the dragons lie)

ABOVE: The mysterious purple forest (Adapted from my novel: The Amethypurle Forest). The stag there is very shy... or frightened. But of what? Hehehe...



Oh, and there are so many features of the map I haven't blurted out yet because it's totally a spoiler. =P

Your mission is simple: Your King is captured by a strongforce and slained before you could do anything (unless you type cheat, you cheater!) and when he is revived at your altar, you have to eliminate all forces and get the land for your own.

In other words, kill all. But it is no ordinary map. The AI is different.

But the problem is, the purple forest is a bit problematic.

And another helpful hint: do NOT expect easy creeps everywhere. Everything is limited here.



OK, signing off.
Love ya!

Buddha

BUDDHA: Our Great Teacher

Nexus II (Sneak Peek)

SNEAK PEEK



'I'll shoot him in the head,' Dave threatened as he pointed the gun at Riev's right temple.

'You've tried that before and you've failed. Why don't you pick up something else to do?' the Traveller opened his arms as if welcoming Dave for a challenge.

'I've learnt my mistake, in case you wonder,' Dave said. 'Stop wasting my time.'

'You are not programmed to kill me, Dave. We've never been enemies for years,' the Traveller said gently.

'And we've never been friends either,' Dave powered up his gun and it glowed in intense blue. 'I am programmed to eradicate you now, Traveller.'

'Then do it,' the Traveller said, his tone unchanged.

'Not till you give what I - we - wanted,' he said.

'I have nothing with me. I didn't take anything you have. I don't steal, I don't hide,' the Traveller said.

'Jane Soutaine is not supposed to die,' Dave said.

'What?' Riev spoke out after his long silence.

Dave's gun pressed hard against Riev's temple, reminding him now who's in-charge.

'Jane Soutaine did not die. She is wanted by the Lords,' the Traveller explained.

'Stop making it sound so religious!' Dave yelled.

'If she's not supposed to die, why did you pursue her?' the Traveller grinned.

Dave pointed the gun at the Traveller. 'Bring her back.'

'It's no use. The Lords have her already.'

'You are the Traveller. You travel between dimensions. You've seen the Lords. Go and ask of her.'

'I'm afraid she is not what she was. Put that gun down, It won't hurt me. I am a dimension-mix,' the Traveller said.

Dave removed a small casing near the handle of the gun and showed the intestinal lining of the gun. There was a cylindrical motor that glowed purple. 'Interdimensional engine. The bullet will adjust accordingly to the dimensions.'

'But you won't survive at higher dimension,' the Traveller said.

'The gun will be preset to fire its last target,' Dave said.

'You won't shoot me, Dave. You shoot me and you can't get anything you wanted,' the Traveller said.

Everything happened too fast. One moment the argument seemed to be carrying on, and another moment later a blinding flash washed over the room. When everything resumed to normal, the Traveller was on the ground and Dave's gun was sizzling with blue ember before reducing to red ember and turned black.

'See, Traveller? This is where you are wrong. I did learn from my mistake,' Dave said.

My Mind

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B  L  A  N  K

I Am A Beggar of Food

4 years and still without dinner mates. Can you believe that? Everytime I have to beg people to have dinner with me and most of the time nobody wants to. I am very, very sad and tired by the fact that I am so pitiful when it comes to eating.

Delivery? Hell, no. Delivery always makes my stomach out-turn, or maybe causes vomitting at the rear. Delivery food are so oily and unhealthy. One dish + Rice = RM4. Would you believe that? I mean if I eat occasionally, that would be OK for me. But every evening? Seriously?

I don't know if anyone could understand my sadness. I can see everyone going out for dinner and you can't join them because they say, 'Sorry, I have a date with friend already. Next time...' and some of them even have the choice to say 'I go out till sien already. Tonight I am cooking for dinner.' If you ask 'Can I join?', they would just reply, 'Huh? I cook only for myself..."

Sad, isn't it?

*Munching ChipsMore*

I don't eat alone. It feels even sadder. I don't want to look pitiful in front of public, especially when you see your friends having the meal at the same place with you.

*Forever Alone*

Then people ask about my bruder. 'Didn't he take you out for dinner?'

I choked on my saliva. Yes, he does, in a very, very rare occasion. I don't think he even knows how sad I am. If I were him, and he were me, I would have asked him for dinner before someone asked me out. And if someone really asked me out, I would ask him whether he wants me to tabao, or maybe, if I am going to somewhere exotic, like Secret Recipe, or Pizza Hut, I will somehow pack some snacks from there to bring for him. It's because I have a car (if I were him, I re-stress that point). I have a car and I will do whatever it takes to stop making him feeling lonely.

I will not choose to have fun meals with my friends if I know he hasn't taken meals and still hungry, hoping for someone to go out with him.

Yeah, lots of 'ifs'.

Sadly, things don't come that true to what you expect, right?

Hmm, one more semester and I'll be gone from UTAR's face. I hope I made a better change next time.

*Munching... eh? ChipsMore finished!*

Sad. Real sad.

I will carry my tears with me to my bed and lay them on my pillow.

If only I have dinner mates...

Year 3 Begins! (Has begun)

So sorry about the error of title. Well, I set this blog up a long time ago but it was empty because the semester isn't over yet. Sadly, it is right now. As usual, each semester brings its own climax and colours. This semester, Piano Competition 2012. Awesome.

 

 

Well before that, internship and Final Year Project stuffs have been bugging me since the first week of my semester. Man, we searched high and low for our supervisors and we've got ourselves Ms Nurul Nabila. And yeah, our FYP is undergoing it's birthing process. If you ask me if there's any conflicts, well, of course there are. But what's the point pointing out conflicts and babble babble and babble? For me, find the root cause and get done with it. I see many people love to complain about their conflicts around.

 

Hey, you opt for world peace when there's war. How you contribute to world peace if you can't even have peace with your mind and people? =)

 

For my internship, I'm very very glad that I got myself into Citi Transaction Service under a very interesting department! Hell yeah, I remembered last time I was feeling forced to learn finance stuff when I am all about blackholes, wormholes and theoretical physics as well as mysterious marine bio. This time, I am going to make myself a real deal in the financial sector. My ambition is... very ambitious. Trust me, you don't want to know (unless I have told you)

 

I am going to start making connections wherever I'm possible when I am in KL soon. I want to make friends friends and FRIENDS. No more autistic behavior in me!

 

Haha, my parents used to encourage me to work in major cities but less complicated, like Penang, unfortunately, I land myself at the busy city of KL. Ha, I remembered my dad and mum asked me to choose in Ipoh.

 

Why Ipoh? I wanna LEARN. =). Strike for the big apple even if you know it might get worms! At least you know how big apple tastes like. OK, notice the word 'big apple' is in small letters, so I'm not referring to any country, right?

 

Deutsch.... Germany... *drools*

 

OK, back.

 

After these hectic stuffs, I am helping in Piano Competition (which is part of Music Fest 2012, comprising of Karaokay Competition, Piano Competition, Chinese Orchestra and Music Sharing). And my, I am proud of myself for scoring (for the first time) so well in academics even though I'm busy (except for one subject =(...)

 

Yeah, the committee has lots of conflicts as well, but hey, conflicts add colours, don't you think? Unless you are a quick-temper, hating, spiteful human, then you would view conflict as either only red in colour or taste it as sweet sugar because you love inciting a war.

 

No offence.

 

Throughout the course of getting the Piano Competition stuffs done, I am very glad I've met with so many pianists hidden in the campus! Including one super cute girl Eeleen. Well, before that, I didn't expect so many would turn up for audition. Yes, did I mention I am a judge? =P

 

And to attract people, me and Daniel made a cardboard piano. It looks... interesting and it does help in publicity and promotion. But I am very very sad at one thing:

 

FBF students are SOOOOOOO passive and lazy in campus stuffs. My goodness. Asking them to come for audition in Block C is like asking them to kill an elephant with a shaver. 3 years into this faculty and I didn't see any changes much. And FBF students just love to complain everything (besides being materialistic)

 

My gawd, I actually saw so many of them counting the 'service hours' left to claim their SSDC marks for being helpers. =.=... I mean, if you volunteer yourself as helper, can you just do your job properly? And some are even worse. You tell them the ticket price is RM10, they complain it's expensive; you tell them it's RM2, they say it's too cheap, and maybe the event is lousy; you tell them it's FREE, they say free stuffs are never good.

 

WHAT DO YOU WANT??

 

Sigh, I hope the future batch of FBF Students won't be like this.

 

OK, back.

 

 

 

 

 

This is the piano we made! (And thanks to Sock Thing who mentioned it's too small =.=) It took us 3 days to do it. Don't ask me the total cost of making this thing. Now I don't even know where is our piano. =(

 

 

 

During the finals, there's so many VIPs (OK, I hear you screaming the word VIP, if you know I am talking about you). And I got to know some of them. It's a fine night and I love the finalists.

These, behold, are the judges of the night! 28th July 2012! Look at how strict we are. From left  to right: Mr Soong Hoong Cheng, Mr JE Cheng, Ms Ang and of course, Mr Leong Min Zhi (Me).

 

 

 

 

And, and... my younger brother came to perform his superb medley (Cheng, 2012). HAHA. Happy to meet them all as my friends! Wow, I suddenly feel like I am entering into a pure adulthood relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look here, it's us! The judges (words in blue), committees (words in green) and finalists (words in purple)! From left to right: Leong Min Zhi, Soong Hoong Cheng, Hanson Loh, Ren Kai, Joseph Foo, Eeleen Ang, JE Cheng, Tang Jexen (emcee), WeiWei, Hui Shang, Ming Wei, Roy Ong, Mas, Boon Kiat, Eumene, Daniel, Adeline, Rosemary and Leon Gautier

 

 

 

 

 

This is the dinner we all cooked because Hui Shang didn't eat it before. We cooked it at Rosemary's house and guess what, the costs for one person to pay for this dinner (this + two big bottles of soft drinks) is only RM2.50! And it is superfilling. (Photos by Hui Shang)

 

 

 

 

 

 

During Music Night, I am glad I am able to meet my bro. Haha. He is one of my most important people I've ever met in my campus life. He's changed somehow. I can't point what or where, but he's changed. =). According to Hui Shang, we look very much alike (even Wendy also says so) So this is the photo of us of the night, except our hair, do we really look alike? Hmm...

 Haha, JuanWyn (Bro) and I know each other around two years ago, during my Year 1 Sem 1 days. I never thought time would fly that fast. Hope he's fine at Setapak. All the best to him. He has my wishes and blessings.

 And this, my other most important people in my life, is needless to say. I should thank him for everything this semester, including how we sort out our conflicts. I don't know what's our future after this, but I hope it goes well. =)


 Till then, that's all for my semester...

Oh, oh.. I hope I can post up a daily log of my intern days... Keep you guys updated!


Lots of Love and Cheers
Z.