Life is a bad joke. A real bad joke. I should be laughing off. But now I am trying.
I am sorry to my bruder. I keep bragging him about my feelings. I didn't cry but I keep shouting, asking myself why it happens. But, I didn't ask how was he. I feel bad. Am I a good person? Selfish and unkind. I hope he is OK now.
Hope he reads this:
Bruder, are you OK? Don't drink beer. We can talk, like the good old days. It's been 117 days... I wish I know how you are feeling right now. I send my spirit over to your side. Anything just talk to 'it'. XD.
I'm fine here. We will go through this together. Shoulder-in-shoulder, huh? =)
I didn't cry, I just shouted. The word 'cry' here means 'shout out loud', as in literature used. I hope you don't misunderstand. ^^ . Shit happens. Sometimes we all fall into deep shit, but I believe this is not a deepshit. Do you?
I salute to you everytime.
You have so many friends out there, you can have all the consolations you want. You can have all the beer you want (JOKE!). But I sincerely hope that, after you read this, it is much better than anything else (I am getting SS already. LOL!)
"We are family. We don't ditch family members", that's what you told me when I want to severe everything to you. XD. I don't know how hurt you are from this, but same goes to me, I can't teleport myself over there to you. The only thing I can do is type all this. I have been doing silly things in my life. But doing this to you, I don't think it is silly.
It is worth, More than worth.
We just need to be more careful sometimes.
I am also sorry to make you feel like I always depend on you. Yeah, you are right about "Because you trust me ma". I trust you. I believe in you. I feel safe whatever I say to you, whenever and wherever. That's why I chose you over the rest. It's not bias, it's conscience.
We have our obligations. But don't forget we have obligations against each other, too. ^^. You can shove me in the cupboard, but I still can reach out for you!
I am extending an invisible hand to you. Can you see it (duh! I said it is invisible already)? You can grab it and I will pull you up. Or you can place it on your shoulder so I can pat it. Or you can put it under your chin, so I can lift it up and let you see the sky still has its stars. Or maybe you can put it on your eyes, so I can wipe away anything that obscures your vision.
No matter how, you still have to take the invisible hand. ^^. That's an order. Cannot be disobeyed. Understood?
Alright it's getting late. I didn't go for supper with my friends just to post this up for you. No, don't say anything yet. I rejected the offer because I am feeling sleepy too. I just want to post this before I sleep. Perhaps you are out there drinking teh or beer. Perhaps you are sleeping, Perhaps you are taking care of someone.
Too many perhaps.
A good relationship doesn't require 'perhaps', no?
Alright. I have to sleep. Remember to take the invisible hand.
"I GOT YOU"