老师无言了一个星期

我是一所中学某班的班导师。

我自认我非常严肃。是的，我会开玩笑，可是对我的班，我很少如此。

我犹记得，7月8日，当我刚刚上任为他们的班导师时，我问了他们这么的一句话：

“你要我做天使般的老师，还是恶魔？”

无可否认，他们选择了天使。

然后，我就警告我的学生，说：“老师的性格是由你们而定。请记住。”

日子久了，一个月过去了，我发现，他们好懒散。功课不做不要紧，而且课业非常差，就连简单的乘法都不会。我出了一道题：“二分之一加二分之一是多少？”

吓死人的是，竟然有三成以上的学生不会。怎么办好？

我回想起，以前的我，华语特别烂，常常令老师哭笑不得。但是，我记得，一年级时我的级任老师，赖锦虹老师对我的耐性，慢慢一步一步教导我。我，最后不得不使出这个方法——一个一个学生轮流坐在我隔壁，一步一步慢慢解释，教导。

起初，学生很害怕我，因为我骂人特别凶。有哪位学生被训导处记过，我就再骂。再加上，我班的学生非常懒散，吩咐他们交上表格都需要等上三个星期，而且还被一名学生揶揄：“老师，你能够在三个礼拜内收齐表格已经算是厉害了。以前我们的老师要用上六个月。”

气死人了。

再说 ，我有这么一次说：“来，等下我要看到白板抹干净 。”岂知，没有人出来抹。被问起时，有一位学生说：“老师，你都没有讲要谁抹！”

糟糕。这么样的班怎么带？

结果，我出狠招，开始对他们又唬又喝，威胁说只要有任何科任老师投诉，有关受害者就要被罚抄五张纸，道：“我xxx来自xx班永远不会在班上xxxxxxx。”

九月的一天，一位女同学跟我哀求：“老师，你变回天使啦！”

我狠狠地瞪了她一眼，还微微的“哼”了一声，再加上粗重的口气说：“不可能！”

10月2日，弟子规老师跟我投诉班上学生讲不听。我一气之下，喝令他们去扫树叶，做苦工。到了第二天，我开始对我班的学生不闻不问。学生问我什么，我不答，连瞄一眼都没有，最多凶凶的瞪他们到他们不敢跟我做眼神交流。

10月3日，我赫然发现桌子上有一封信。打开来看，发现是一封短短的道歉信，信中原文：

“老师，对不起啦！

我们又害你被老师投诉，我们也是不想的。

对不起啦，老师。

我们答应你我们再也不敢让你被老师投诉了。

我们尽量啦！

老师，不要ｅｍｏ了！快点跟我们讲话啦！”

心狠就是心狠，我把信收起来，当作没看见，连华文老师也摇摇头，说：“你怎么可以那么样？心还不能软？”

我铁石心肠。

过后的那几天，我讶异了。

平时，当我一进班，班长会大大声喊：“起立！行礼！”接着，“老师早安！”然后就等我说：“早安，坐！”他们才肯坐。可是，因为我默不作声，他们想听的“坐”字久久未从我口中溜出。结果，整班就站着上课。下课时，有一群学生向我深深的鞠躬，拉长说：“老师，对不起！”

我的脸依然如此冷冰冰，可是心里笑了几下。你们活该。

10月9日，班长再次喊：“起立！行礼！”但是，声中带有“老师，快点被我们大声地请安感动吧！”的语气

。

我还是无动于衷，转身就在白板上龙飞凤舞写出一道道习题，而全班仍旧站着上课。

随后的那一幕，我愣了。

全班都在努力的回答习题。

他们从来没有这样过。他们数学很差。他们害怕我。但是，不知为何，他们鼓起勇气开始作答，努力的向周围的朋友请教。这一幕，我看傻了眼。因为这一幕，只有在优秀班才可以看到。

然后，有几位女同学在放学时，追上我，拉着我的假丝绸衣裳，说：

“老师，你快点讲话啦。”

“老师，你知道么，我长过那么大，读了那么多年的书，没有一个老师不会讲话。”

“是咯，老师，我求求你，快点讲话。你不讲话我们很怕的。”

我扯开衣服，回办公室去。

10月18日，年终大考。第一天，很不幸的，考数学。我心里想，看你们厉害！

10月21 日，我批改他们的试卷。

我……

他们的分数……

一个星期多没出声，没教书，分数竟然比起上次高几十巴仙。

我心里想：这次是我错了么？

在此，我懂了。

Love

This is a story used to share by my Moral Education teacher when I was at my prinary school. This story goes like this:

Once upon a time, there was a man, named Jack. He had kept three animals in his house:
 
a dog, a cat and a hamster, and he had kept them in three different cages.

 

Once in a while,
     he would
          bring the dog out for an evening walk or a morning ball game.
          take the cat out and scratch her lovely fur till she purred softly.
          put his hamster in a sophisticated playhouse for it to run and run.

Every meal time, each animal would be given a dish of exquisite meal dedicated to the type of animals he had. He would never give salmon fish to the dog or corns to the cat. Each had its most wonderful meal differently, everyday.

And the animals love Jack very much. So did Jack. To him, they're the most loveable animals in his house.

But, one day, he left the cage open before sleeping. The next morning, the hamster was eaten by the cat and the cat was injured by the dog. The dog was also injured by the cat scratches and it ran away from home.

Jack was puzzled at why his loveable animals turned so violent. He thought it was the food, but then he knew...


HARMONY is not given by segregation.
BENEFITS are not given by segregation.

To instil peace, harmony, unity and happiness, everyone must take initiative to know and understand each other. When we all know each other's differences, we will put aside that, tolerate, and then establish a common ground where everyone is happy.

If, like Jack, we treat people by groups, each group will love you for the benefits you give, but each group will envy towards the treatment you give each other. If that envy grows into a monster, we all are monsters.

Give time to blend and mix, not give benefits to create peace.

Learn to give, dear Malaysians. Learn to love. Humans aren't as ugly as you think, unless you are paranoid.

If Jack didn't want to open the three cages for us to mix, we open ourselves, if not, we just talk across cages, because soon, the cages will not be needed anymore.

Peace, Malaysia.

I love you.

Of Nowadays (Part One)

Maths is a dead subject now. No longer living. I gave my 13-year-old-and-scored-7As-in-UPSR cousin this question: One class as 30 students where 20 of them love Science and another 20 love Maths. How many students love both?

 

He stared at the question and quickly-as-a-matter-of-factly scribbled this:

 

 

30 - 20 - 20 = __
 

"Your question got problem," he frowned.



I looked at him. He was going to take the private school entrance exam and if this question cannot be solved, I have no hope for him to obtain at least a quarter-scholarship (of course there is no such thing as quarter-scholarship).

"Think," I commanded.

He gripped the paper and ran downstairs seeking help from a mechanical engineer father. "Pa, do this for me."

I stared at him ridiculously. "What? I asked you to solve and you turn to your father!"

They both ignored me. Then another shocking news reached my ears:

"Eh, you don't give him this question. You look carefully. Your question is faulty," he said.

*JAWDROPPED*

*

Diameter and radius, who would have not known? My cousin is peculiar. He claimed it was NEVER in his primary school syllabus. It was supposed to be a secondary school syllabus. When I directed him to revise his books, he found it.

"Oh, diameter is like this," he said, drawing a retarded circle and a line jamming through the point of origin. From a clock, it looked approximately like 12.30pm. Then he extended a line from the point of origin and touched the circumference, such that this radius is pointing at 3 o'clock. "This is radius." He smiled.

I took his pen, and drew a radius pointing to 5 o'clock. "Is that a radius?"

"No." He quickly replied.

"Why?"

"It wasn't pointing at that direction," he signified with his index finger pointing to his right.

I was totally surprised. I rotated the paper such that the radius I drew pointed to the direction he intended. "So, my line is it a radius now?"

He scratched his head. "Where got people rotate exam paper one?"

Don't tell me. You should know what your reaction is.

*

Creativity seems to be the latest horror story to any child. I remembered my cousin's face suddenly folded over several times and let out a disgusted noise, "Use my imagination and creativity again?"

I nodded. It was a question of drawing a 10-metre wide circle with only a pencil and a compass.

He quickly turned to his papa and mama, whining, "Pa, Mi, if I give you this and ask you to use imagination and only..." he paused and revealed the tools I have given him to his parents, "this," he said disgustedly, "to answer, can you do it?"

His parents glanced at it.

"I have no time for this. Your cousin gave it to you, so you do it on your own," the mother said.
"What is it? Let me help..." he stared at the question long enough. Then he said, "I don't know. You go ask your cousin."

Then his face glowed truimphantly as if he is the king of answers. He shoved me the paper and tools. "Nah! Papa and mami also can't solve it. How can I solve it!" Then he turned on his computer.

I sighed. My parents are not university graduates, but they are my powerful encyclopaedia. They sometimes can't help me on maths, but they open my minds. I am glad I have such parents.

*

One day, his sister came to me, saying that there's a word she can't understand. I looked at it and it wrote "fertiliser" in Chinese language. So I told her in English is "fertiliser". She stared at me as if I didn't explain anything at all.

"What is fertiliser?" she asked.

Being a 8-year-old toddler, I couldn't blame her much. So I said, "You know, mami has plants outisde? The flowers? Sometimes they need something like tiny fishballs to become bigger and healthier."

She stared at me even stronger. "Huh?"

"You go ask mami. Maybe she can show you," I gave up.

She ran to the kitchen, found her mum and did what I tell her. Her mum came to me, wiping her wet hands on her shirt, "Ah, sorry to tell you, we don't use fertilisers. So I can't show you."

I... collapsed.

*

"Gor gor, how you draw so beautiful?" my cousin sister tugged at my sleeve.

"Come, I show you. You see this...?" then I began how my father and mother taught me about observing power. How the size and perspective matters. How shadow shifts under light. How things must be balanced. How object must be logical.

"Can you fold paper swan?" she meant paper crane.

"Yes."

"Can show me?"

"Yes."

"Now?"

"Later."

"When later?"

"Till you know how to draw," I gave an evil grin.

You know what's best about an innocent child? They will give whatever it takes to get whatever they need. I soon saw her struggling to draw and ask me about the pictures. But I pitied her because she had to draw on newspapers.

"Meimei," I called her. "You don't have papers to draw on?"

"No. Papa mami din buy also," she shook her head with her sorry eyes.

I reached my file and gave a stack of A4 papers. "Nah, draw for me, every day."

She gladly took it.

Creativity is something to be explored. Seriously. If you have the tools, you make wonders. Don't ask your children to read, read and read. That's not learning.

*

One day we went to Sushi King. Me and her mami craved for baby octopus. So I grabbed a plate.

"Gor gor, what's that?" my cousin sister words glued together, sounding like "wazzat".

"Baby octopus," then I added before she put any wild imaginations on it, "it tastes very nice!"

Her papa suddenly said. "You don't eat one lar. Really one, you don't eat."

I ignored him and cut a tentacle for her. She cautiously put it in her mouth and grinned. "Nice lo."

Sometimes, as a parent, you have to give chance to your kids. Don't go laying conclusions when your kids have no exposure on them, unless it is not beneficial.

Looking Out of the Window

Have you ever looked out of the window?


Outside, it is so shiny and sunny,
with the greens, reds and blues of nature's beauty.

You sat by the window and stared and stared.
     Every bird which flew by,
     every flower that bloomed away,
     every trickling water from the grey fountain,
- each sparkle of Mother goodness was enough to hammer in your heart.

You wanted to go out from this dark cold room.
     to touch the colours.
     to feel the wind embracing your body.
     to inhale the fragrance of spring.

Or you wanted a blue Adonis butterfly
     to land on your petty fingers.

It's a dream of heaven out there.

*****

Then, you stepped out of the window
fell on a pungent shrub with violet bells.

You squeezed the carpet grass
and plucked the thorny rose.

Canary flew by and you thought it was a phoenix
spreading its fiery wings and casting light to the darkest corners.

You turned back and saw where you came from:
A wooden shed with neat four windows.

Life as Roses

I always tell my friend, don't hide.

So many years of existence, I have lent more than a dozen times of shoulders and ears. I remembered reading an article from a school-published book, a story about Ears.

Everyone will have a crisis at some point of their lives. Never mind, cut back down and restart, that's the way. It is always difficult first, but soon the results are beautiful. And when I said cut back down, I don't mean retreat, I mean cut the crisis down.

My mum used to say, life, is like a flower; how you do to life, is actually gardening (My mum told me this when she was snipping her roses). "See the rose here? It is dying, but I snip it off. Soon you will see three more roses growing from that point. Understand?"

I nodded.

To see beautiful things, you have to overcome ugly things. That's how life works. Even at the most beautiful thing, you can find something ugly on it.

"Just like a rose, the prettier it gets, the more pests it attracts. Do I have to snip the rose if there are pests? No. I just need to tick them off. No point destroying the rose just to prevent those pests."

I nodded again.

"Roses have thorns, they use them for defend and for climbing. You cannot stand alone forever in the world. You need some support and defence. Find a friend or someone else you think you can rely on and defend yourself and your support against threats. Roses are beautiful, but they don't do that without defend and support."

I nodded.



"Why do you like roses?" I asked mum.

"Because I love gardening," my mum replied.

Solving Problems

Well, there is a Chinese saying: "Crack the claypot and ask to the depths", or in other words, ask something you wish to know till you reach a satisfactory answer.

It's a good thing, no doubt. I am not that kind of person. I am a little bit on the pessimistic side. But I am not cynical to that point. I push someone if I wish to get an answer and then throw up a zillion problems to that person, hoping he/she will answer all.

That's why I became an event manager quite a few times. That's what people wants: a wholesome picture of all the possible limitations, problems, disadvantages and also advantages, budget cuts and publicity. These can be achieved by keep asking those stupid and very serious question.

Psst: it usually starts with 'What If?'

But there are some problems which cannot, STRICTLY, probe too deep. Or you are getting shit out of it. Sorry for the harsh word, but I can't find any more suitable words to replace it. Dung, perhaps? Or 'faeces'? Or even more technical term - "organic detritus excretion"?

Sorry for ketam-ing.

Take for an example, solving a relationship crisis. Your boyfriend leaves you and you are determined to find out why. So you begin to stalk his daily activities, stalk his Facebook, check his e-mail and blog, ask his friend about his stuff, ask your friend about his being... bla bla bla...

That doesn't work.

If the relationship is over, then you should get over it. It sounds bad. But it is. Once a relationship is over, it means that either party is really determined that the story requires a well-rounded fullstop (duh! try draw a half fullstop!). You can no longer carry on your story with him, except by having a new story where he is no longer in the limelight.

In other words, you start a new paragraph, or maybe a chapter. (But, seriously, don't end the story [suicide... XD])

In this case, it's like you are a geologist (here comes my magnificent analogy of sociology against science), and you discover a crack at a mountain top. The crack is snaking down, nearing to the base. You want to find out what causes it, and so you pick up a hoe, or spade, or whatever thing, and you start to dig deeper to see where the crack ends, so that you can know how much to fill up the crack.

And so you dig dig diggedy dig... down you go...

HEY, wake up!

What happens if you continue to dig? It's not that you will never find the real limit (because you just keep digging), you in fact are trying to pull two rocks apart! And what does that cost you? Time!

OK, you stop after realising it is a waste of time, you lift up your chin and see the hole you have dug. And you are like "OMG, how am I going to get out? How am I going to fill up this crack as I've intended to?"

Now, that's probing too deep will get you shit.


Some problems are not to be solved, but to be a fine lesson to all of us. Striking our bells of wisdom whether we can change our way before we get too deep.

It's time to move on, friend!

As Long As the Candle Stays

You stand on the crossroad. You don't know where to go. You asked people and they tell you the same thing: "Where I go, you go."

Ever heard of the poem "The Road Not Taken"? It's both a good and bad thing. It's what we called 'Life'. Life is interesting when there are choices to be made. If you don't, what life are you having besides the life of others?

Ahead, you must not be quivering over the words by your kin. Think. Think hard. If it comes to your expertise, your profession and you think you can perform well at the end of the road, then take it without doubt. Don't ever hesitate. Did you know a moment of hesitation will cause you a lifetime of regret?

I was once a Science student, bravely announcing to public that I am taking 'Marine Bio' as my field of study, after I discarded the idea of being an Astrophysicist. Teachers congratulated me, friends pressured me. I love the sea. I am an Aquarian, who cares?

My doctor even told me that I have to learn intensive scuba-diving and submarine engineering, but I still stood still over my choice. For me, the candle ahead of me is shining brightly like a star and I was determined to go straight.

But now, a Banking and Finance student. Who pressured me? Nobody did. It was a gradual and yet abrupt transition (paradox...). I took Biotech after I failed to receive 8 scholarships (till now I don't understand why those 8 failed), then I switched to Biochem, then Biomed, then Chemical Engineering, then Computer Science (thinking of inventing Quantum Computers), to Journalism, Accountancy and finally, Banking and Finance.

I changed it because I see something else. I am versatile enough to learn any course, but the world isn't versatile enough to contain my wild heart. I can only choose one, or two if possible. Then I began to research on the market.

Financers are all around me. Without finance knowledge, you don't even know when your bank is cheating on you. Well, that's not the point. The point is, I see my candle light dimmed and sometimes even obstructed by an unknown force.

Then I realised. In my home country, you can take Science field, but you have to be superbly PRO and work in Multi-National Company to move faster, or else, you will be trapped in 3 major fields: Fishery, Forestry (Palm oil) and Mineral (Petroleum).

I don't want those three.

So I make a tough choice, that made my mum cried because she worried I cannot cope it in the future as I was so 'science-based' till I do my own experiment and research at home, even argued a point in Wikipedia. And of course, she once told me to take business. She thought she was forcing me to take Business.

Nah, it wasn't. And she said, study well, no course offered in the university is wasted. Or else there won't be that course after all.

And so, here I am, a Banking and Finance student, finding new fun and horizon in my future. Ahead, I saw my candlelight again.

Then I realised something awful.


The candle never changed. It won't changed for a person. It stays there. It's just a matter of changing perspective. No matter how, you still reach for the candle. Don't blow it. Don't question it. Your friends might threaten to take it away, or force you to see it at the other perspective. Not good. You have to see it for yourself.

As long as the candle stays, your choices remain open, that's what I can say. Both choices are equally good. My friend said my science was good. But it wasn't that good after I realised I have talked so much about science that - psychologically - my friends thought I was 'science-minded'.

Try talk 2 different topics or choices at once at equal length, equal depth, equal width. You will be surprised your friend would say:

'Go and choose one and say la. I am confused to hear two topics alternating every day!'

Now, for that statement, what choice you choose?

So, the choice is yours. The candle is yours. How you burn it, how you shine it, how you look it, depends on you. Nobody can help that.



[PS: currently too many people asking for my advice. My lame advice can be above. If not, sorry for wasting your time over here. Let you punch next time I see you.]

Stones as Diamonds

Remember the story of Hansel and Gretel? No? Then in Chinese I think is 'Candyhouse', if I am not mistaken, about a brother and sister being cast away by their parents in the woods where they stumbled upon the witch's candy house.

Sorry, that line was supposed to be ketam. (Remember what is 'ketam'? No? Check the archives) Because somehow many students (or young generations) do not even know who is Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, Napoleon, Mahatma Gandhi... Great goodness...

OK, that was another ketam.

Well, my mum used to say, not only opportunities come knocking once, challenges too, but challenges are a bit nasty. They knock your door once and you HAVE to answer it, because if you don't, they will find other members and come banging your door. At that time, you have to answer ALL of it.

Tough.

No. You cannot escape challenges. Some of the frequent excuses I heard are:

"Pass enough because I know I am weak"
[Me: if you know you are weak, why don't you put more effort?]

"Cincai lah, nobody is testing my English pronounciation on science report"
[Me: try saying that when one day your lab professor is asking you to speak about it]

"I weak ah, so what?"
[Me: Coward! You use that term to cover up your mistakes]

"I don't know English. Try translate it and explain next time"
[Me: Newsflash, I won't. You see those angmo words, you better learn it, QUITTER~]


As you can see, giving yourself an excuse in living is making your life closer to dying. People are progressing but you keep consoling yourself over useless excuses. If you want to continue being like that, no harm dude, you will just be left out sooner or later.

Your predecessors cast stone behind them when they walked the journey of life. You are supposed to pick them up and polish them into diamonds. Not kicking them away or hopping them over. They want you to be the excellence. Not quitter.

Leave stones for your new generations.

No spoonfeeding. Not to you, nor your next generations.


Be smart, be hard.


Cheers,
New Age Confucious. XD