Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

Monday, October 21, 2013

老师无言了一个星期



我是一所中学某班的班导师。
我自认我非常严肃。是的,我会开玩笑,可是对我的班,我很少如此。

我犹记得,78日,当我刚刚上任为他们的班导师时,我问了他们这么的一句话:
你要我做天使般的老师,还是恶魔?

无可否认,他们选择了天使。
然后,我就警告我的学生,说:“老师的性格是由你们而定。请记住。

日子久了,一个月过去了,我发现,他们好懒散。功课不做不要紧,而且课业非常差,就连简单的乘法都不会。我出了一道题:“二分之一加二分之一是多少?”

吓死人的是,竟然有三成以上的学生不会。怎么办好?

我回想起,以前的我,华语特别烂,常常令老师哭笑不得。但是,我记得,一年级时我的级任老师,赖锦虹老师对我的耐性,慢慢一步一步教导我。我,最后不得不使出这个方法——一个一个学生轮流坐在我隔壁,一步一步慢慢解释,教导。

起初,学生很害怕我,因为我骂人特别凶。有哪位学生被训导处记过,我就再骂。再加上,我班的学生非常懒散,吩咐他们交上表格都需要等上三个星期,而且还被一名学生揶揄:“老师,你能够在三个礼拜内收齐表格已经算是厉害了。以前我们的老师要用上六个月。”

气死人了。

再说 ,我有这么一次说:“来,等下我要看到白板抹干净 。”岂知,没有人出来抹。被问起时,有一位学生说:“老师,你都没有讲要谁抹!”

糟糕。这么样的班怎么带?

结果,我出狠招,开始对他们又唬又喝,威胁说只要有任何科任老师投诉,有关受害者就要被罚抄五张纸,道:“我xxx来自xx班永远不会在班上xxxxxxx。”

九月的一天,一位女同学跟我哀求:“老师,你变回天使啦!”

我狠狠地瞪了她一眼,还微微的“哼”了一声,再加上粗重的口气说:“不可能!”

102日,弟子规老师跟我投诉班上学生讲不听。我一气之下,喝令他们去扫树叶,做苦工。到了第二天,我开始对我班的学生不闻不问。学生问我什么,我不答,连瞄一眼都没有,最多凶凶的瞪他们到他们不敢跟我做眼神交流。

103日,我赫然发现桌子上有一封信。打开来看,发现是一封短短的道歉信,信中原文:

老师,对不起啦!
我们又害你被老师投诉,我们也是不想的。
对不起啦,老师。
我们答应你我们再也不敢让你被老师投诉了。
我们尽量啦!
老师,不要emo了!快点跟我们讲话啦!

心狠就是心狠,我把信收起来,当作没看见,连华文老师也摇摇头,说:“你怎么可以那么样?心还不能软?”

我铁石心肠。

过后的那几天,我讶异了。

平时,当我一进班,班长会大大声喊:“起立!行礼!”接着,“老师早安!”然后就等我说:“早安,坐!”他们才肯坐。可是,因为我默不作声,他们想听的“坐”字久久未从我口中溜出。结果,整班就站着上课。下课时,有一群学生向我深深的鞠躬,拉长说:“老师,对不起!”

我的脸依然如此冷冰冰,可是心里笑了几下。你们活该。
109日,班长再次喊:“起立!行礼!”但是,声中带有“老师,快点被我们大声地请安感动吧!”的语气
我还是无动于衷,转身就在白板上龙飞凤舞写出一道道习题,而全班仍旧站着上课。

随后的那一幕,我愣了。

全班都在努力的回答习题。

他们从来没有这样过。他们数学很差。他们害怕我。但是,不知为何,他们鼓起勇气开始作答,努力的向周围的朋友请教。这一幕,我看傻了眼。因为这一幕,只有在优秀班才可以看到。

然后,有几位女同学在放学时,追上我,拉着我的假丝绸衣裳,说:

老师,你快点讲话啦。
老师,你知道么,我长过那么大,读了那么多年的书,没有一个老师不会讲话。
是咯,老师,我求求你,快点讲话。你不讲话我们很怕的。

我扯开衣服,回办公室去。

1018日,年终大考。第一天,很不幸的,考数学。我心里想,看你们厉害!

1021 日,我批改他们的试卷。


我……


他们的分数……

一个星期多没出声,没教书,分数竟然比起上次高几十巴仙。


我心里想:这次是我错了么?

在此,我懂了。

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Confused

So, lately my heart has been tweaking my brain a lot. Some flavours changed across the months being out of reach of campus life.

I suddenly feel plain. I feel cold in my heart. Whenever things that are meant to be happy things to me suddenly becomes bland. The biggest example is my, ahem, bruder. Whenever he just texts me (no, no calls), I don't feel like how I used to feel - awesomely happy. It feels like, I have just received an ordinary message and I just have to reply that message.

Is it going to get worse? I don't know. I don't have much time to reminisce my campus life. I feel like I am moving on and away from what I used to have.

Worse, I have the feeling that I always bug people's life. I feel that I am getting drifted away from this 'bruder relationship'. I feel like I shouldn't be in that relationship at the first place. I feel like, wrong. I feel like we shouldn't have been bruders because he already has his.

Weird.

We seldom chat now. He is more busy with his FYPs, reports, bros and his-gals. Well, I, on the other hand, remains empty. Well, it's OK, actually. People move on to their personal life. It's not up to me to tangle myself to them again.

Will I actually get lost?

I remembered writing a sentence like this during primary school:

"River flowing ever quick,
there aren't any flowers to pick.
Hear your friends' voices,
telling you you have no choices.
But to move on and on
and forever gone."

Is this so-called self-fulfilling prophecy coming true? Is that why I have cycles?

If no, then will I be forgotten in my own memories? My friends' contact number has been inactive for years. When I browse through my contact list, I find no one to text with. Is this wrong?

I...

I seem to be lost.

Lost in my own memories.

Help me.


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Love

This is a story used to share by my Moral Education teacher when I was at my prinary school. This story goes like this:

Once upon a time, there was a man, named Jack. He had kept three animals in his house:
 
a dog, a cat and a hamster, and he had kept them in three different cages.

 

Once in a while,
     he would
          bring the dog out for an evening walk or a morning ball game.
          take the cat out and scratch her lovely fur till she purred softly.
          put his hamster in a sophisticated playhouse for it to run and run.

Every meal time, each animal would be given a dish of exquisite meal dedicated to the type of animals he had. He would never give salmon fish to the dog or corns to the cat. Each had its most wonderful meal differently, everyday.

And the animals love Jack very much. So did Jack. To him, they're the most loveable animals in his house.

But, one day, he left the cage open before sleeping. The next morning, the hamster was eaten by the cat and the cat was injured by the dog. The dog was also injured by the cat scratches and it ran away from home.

Jack was puzzled at why his loveable animals turned so violent. He thought it was the food, but then he knew...


HARMONY is not given by segregation.
BENEFITS are not given by segregation.

To instil peace, harmony, unity and happiness, everyone must take initiative to know and understand each other. When we all know each other's differences, we will put aside that, tolerate, and then establish a common ground where everyone is happy.

If, like Jack, we treat people by groups, each group will love you for the benefits you give, but each group will envy towards the treatment you give each other. If that envy grows into a monster, we all are monsters.

Give time to blend and mix, not give benefits to create peace.

Learn to give, dear Malaysians. Learn to love. Humans aren't as ugly as you think, unless you are paranoid.

If Jack didn't want to open the three cages for us to mix, we open ourselves, if not, we just talk across cages, because soon, the cages will not be needed anymore.
Peace, Malaysia.

I love you.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Thank You Notes

I hope you are truthful enough. I have given you the colour and please check your notes based on your given colour. No dishonesty please!












BLUE
Don't be so blue, like me. Be happy! Nah, just joking. I thank you for being my coursemate or faculty mate although I didn't do much on your life, except my serious face problem. If you are an enemy to me, I thank you if you become my friend (if not, ignore this part. LOL). All the best in your future undertakings yeah! Belanja me OCHADO during convo and I buy you Sushi King's Bento Set! I promise!




RED
You are like a family to me. Your presence in my life has changed me. Seriously. I am very happy to be with you and sad enough to leave you because of graduation. I know I have no internet connections, but please, do contact me when you are bored, OK? You are my primary colour that taints my tertiary life! Keep tainting me!




ORANGE
You somehow, hmm, doesn't "fit in to either category". Don't be sad. You are unique. I wish to know more about you, but time doesn't allow. Or maybe I am too shy. I will work hard on it, OK? Maybe someday we will have a great chat under a Mamak restaurant or something. But do look out for me always! Thank you for being a tiny presence in my life. Don't take it as a prick; in fact, having you is better than losing you!




PURPLE
Unique. Like the colour suggest. You are one-hard mysterious object. I know you but I don't really know you. We are best friends in a sort, but maybe because distance is better in playing a part of strengthening bonds. I guess if I grow too close to you, disaster will strike! Thank you, peep! Send me letters, if you want to! I will give you my address! It's been a long time since I collect letters and stamps!




YELLOW
Always cheerful, I think. That's how I look at you. You brighten my day up! Don't you have a sad moment or something? Playful and cheeky. But please, sometimes don't be too self-obsessed. I wish I can be as bright as you! Thank you, although we didn't know each other long enough, but I believe the moment we had walked together would suffice! Danke!




TEAL
DANCE CLUB ROCKS! See? I purposely put up a Dance Club section. You guys play a serious role in transforming me, especially Angeline Tan. Because of her "You can laugh or not?" question, I am able to change myself. Though, some of you still are strangers to me, but I love you guys. For me, Dance Club really is a club! It progresses, adapts and grows together with members and members' interests. A good family to be with. You can go ahead and read the RED section if you want to.


FUCHSIA
Music and similar interest bonds us. I am very very happy that I know you! Through events, maybe, but most importantly, music and interests! You are the one big fat fuchsia colour I cannot miss. If only we can meet earlier, we could have been a gang or something to dominate the campus. LOL. Anyway, thanks. Had it not our interests, I don't think we are friends. Right? Rhetorical question, though. I wish I can do something for you!

GREEN
I don't know you. SHOOOOOOOOOO. Haha. I am sorry, next time PM me more. I can't just say THANKS to a random stranger without knowing their deeds, right? But thanks for being my FB friend though. Harrass me with your wonderful PMs!

Monday, September 3, 2012

CHIP's: BROMANCE

OK. Chip's back. The last time he (I pretty sure it's a 'he') appeared was around a few years back on my very very old disposed blog. So, say HI again to that chip (or French Fries)!

This time, Chip is going to talk about BROMANCE.

What is bromance?
It is actually a affectionate relationship between two guys, thus coining the term from 'brothers' and 'romance'.

But bromance does not necessarily includes sexual love. It is only a term describing the intense relationship between guys that is beyond besties but never lovies.

What does a 'bromantic' people do?
They are just like you and me. They have fun together, such as camping and hiking, maybe shopping. It's just most oftenly they are seen together having time. They are very close to real brothers, and sometimes even more. They can just sit down and chat whatever topic they want. They can care for each other whenever either one is in need of care and comfort. They share food and toys. They can share their clothes too!

Virtually everything they possess can be shared among themselves, which except their love partners such as girlfriends and wives (or boyfriends and husbands if they happen to be homosexuals). But note that even being homosexuals does not mean whatever 'bromantic' relationships they get into must be a homosexual relationship.

They are just as simple as you care for me, I care for you. To what depth and breadth of the care, it's up to the comfort zone of the two brothers.

Why some people reject bromance?
Maybe because they perceive it is morally 'wrong' to have such close male friends with them. It feels itchy to have some male who cares about you all the time. Some even think that bromance maybe homosexual in nature, or maybe a precursor to homosexuality.

Guys should get girls, not guys, so the saying goes. OK, there's no such saying. Just made that up. But it is true that some guys prefers a reciprocal care with a girl, but never a guy. It feels awkward to have a guy who asks you frequently 'Have you eaten?' or 'I bought you some food' or even 'I've got a present surprise for you!'

But come back and think about it, do all those means both of you are in love? I mean a romantic sexual love?

You care about the hungry people in Africa. You want to give them food. Well, that's care. And if your brothers (not real brothers, if you haven't noticed from the beginning of the article) care about you by getting you food when you're hungry, is that gay? Is that WRONG?

If yes, then don't give food to anyone who needs it, it's homosexual.

If no, then what's exactly your reason to reject bromance?


Chip has something to say: whatever mentioned in this post is just my mere opinion and does not reflect full-creditability for academic purposes or references. And it doesn't mean 100% correct and precise. So, don't sue me!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Distance

Suddenly I fall back to my deep thoughts.

Distance is not good. Especially you are having a relationship with someone. When I mean relationship, I don't mean LOVE, I mean friendship, family and lovers as well.

Do you have a friend which you always meet somewhere, some time and somehow you didn't manage to say a simple 'Hi!' to him? Or you just can't find a time to say 'Hi!'. Alright you did say 'Hi!' after all. But what about some long chats?

'Hey, I am busy. Catch ya later ya!'

That's the phrase we often hear. But do you honestly think that he/she will really catch you back later? It's just a polite and indirect way of saying, 'I am busy and I don't wish to talk much. Bye.'

That's harsh.

I have friends, but it is sad to say that some of them, even they stay so close to me, our hearts are like miles and miles apart. When we meet, we don't know what to talk. The eerie silence. The uncomfortable quietness. It sends shivers down my spine.

In PINK's song 'Sober,' 'I don't want to be the girl who fill the silence, because the quiet seems to be screaming out the truth'.

Instead, my friends who are far apart from me, they keep on asking me how am I doing. Anything interesting, Blah blah blah.

Is there a inversely proportional relationship between distance and relationship?

(i) The further two persons are, the better the relationship.
(ii) The closer two persons are, the worse the relationship.

I don't know. You make a choice.


Like I've said,
It's not a thousand miles that keep us apart,
it's what you didn't say to keep us close