Eye-soothing

Once, people said, when you look at someone, you feel like you wanna beat him up, that's call 'F*** Face'. You feel uneasy when you look at someone.



But recently, I met two person. Two of them do not have any F-Face syndrome, but I feel like I am tired when talking to them. Bla-ing all those irrelevant topics, some close to yellow, some close to girls and lengluis. It made me uneasy, but not enough to beat them up.



Plus, recent events had escalated my feelings from a mountain peak to the valley deep. EMO? No, just simple depressed. LOL. Luckily I have my BF friends to play around, Emun to speak awkward Bahasa Malaysia in campus...



Those recent events that made me depressed is the attitude of the Prey and the strange and 'exotic' bonding with Queue. They made me stand on a bench while I was tipping over. Choosing one side might harm the other.



Yeah, not Charybdis and Scylla (is it spelt correctly?)...



I felt difficult...



But then, today, this evening, I finally met someone whom I have longed to meet. LOL. At quick glance I didn't realise it was him. My 'old' friend from Foundation Sem 2. LOL...



It was really a relieve to see him. Not because he is a super super super great friend of mine. But somehow, it was a relieve. As if all my trouble has gone away in an eyeblink. Eye-soothing eh? Dunno...



That incident made me forgot all about Queue and Prey...



Night world, may the skies paint with stars...

Sylvina

A lot of readers have been asking me about the true story of Sylvina and how it ended. Well here it is, SPOILER warning.

Sylvina was born in 1541 in Othripus. Originally a neutron star matrix slamming to Othripus, the matrix reorganized itself from scratch to form a full human. But because of her not being an original human (even though she had DNA), she could change her skin tone for camouflaging.

1948, she first met and saved Herphecius. After the victory of Szedna over Mynemoscene, her valiant effort using her whip in the battle had turned the tables. King Szedna finally approved her stay in Szedna and trusted her on several affairs, one of it was investigating a brief lightning dome appearing at the Far East after the death of Herphecius friend.

Shortly after, her numerous discoveries had made the king uneasy. First was the infiltration of an interstellar nanobots codenamed 'Deriph' (an artefact sent by a 1545 human) with a neural augmentation. Then the discovery of Vhon Spheres that allowed instant teleportation as well as making a friend that looked like a fish (which, in fact, was a human, Rimdi).

Then, a minor war between Men and Machines during Sylvina's visit was waged. Her intelligence and neural augmentation had allowed Men to win for the first time, which inadvertently granted her stay at the Men's only city - Oroligath.

After she had returned to Szedna for a Revolution War, or Battle of the Millions, another war had broke out between Men and Machines. She was magically killed by her own stepfather then unknowingly.

She woke up several months later, realising her body while swarming with Deriph robots, she couldn't be killed by magic. However the scenery of Othripus had changed. There were no more trees and the floors were covered with metal tilings and blue circuits, except the area around her. Machines carcasses were found all over her but she wasn't hurt.

It was Deriph who destroyed the machines by constantly emitting strong EMP.

She then returned to Oroligath, confident that no one had survived this catastrophe.

This was her main part of story. Next was somewhat sadder than the first.

She went to Vapidus Nexus, several hundreds of light years away for war against the Vapidus, with Vohne. Till then, Vohne had become a machine substrate by accidentally accepting an alien artefact Hex, which allowed him to break into zillions of pieces at any time.

At the same time, Sylvina discovered some of her body began to lose visibility, or even vanished. Panicked but kept secret, she was told the truth that she was a Neutron Star matrix, which would decay after a lifespan. She understood that the matrix was used to heighten any knowledge of a particular sentient being. She violated that task and became a human. Since the heightening effect only stayed for a while, the matrix began to breakdown.

Till the final days, Vohne still could not marry Sylvina as Sylvina had become a ship as well as simulation, rather than just decaying away into metal dust. She and Vohne then continued their adventure in space, not knowing what had happened to Herphecius, Othripus. They just wanted their human bodies back.

The novel ends.

A Day Without Thinking

Today, woke up at 6am, wore a bright yellow shirt, going to pasar for a breakfast with other 11 red shirt-ers. Yup, we are going to the Hope Mission Home, Teluk Intan for our assignment.

I saw those kids with smiling faces. Active and energetic. I can't help but sighed over my 'seniority' and 'aging'. I can't catch up with them.

So much for generation gap huh?

There's one kid who was fond of me. Sticking to me wherever I went. He even tickled me like he tickled everyone. I forced myself to tahan it. He called me master. LOL. Because I didn't even budge.

My heart sank...

I remembered once, I had a friend, whom I played, studied and joked together. But it all ended. Ah, so that's why I become so sensitive in friendship huh? Hmm...

I also realised that I have barriers to let people know me. Here are the barriers I put up from the outermost to the innermost:

Barrier 1: This makes my look super serious from the outside, preventing any close encounter.

Barrier 2: This makes up my a little serious and occasional jokeful manner. Typical 'hi-bye' friend.

Barrier 3: My barrier breaks down 50% in this level. You can see me as a timid, shy, passive and playful character.

Barrier 4: Unless you are my parents, then you are impossible to penetrate through this barrier.

So which barrier have you penetrated? Rank yourself. If you reached barrier 3, then you are my good friend, if you reach barrier 1, unfortunately, there's something in you I don't like, or, I don't feel necessary for you to know me much.

A Deal with Devil

The Wanderer had no choice but to have a deal offered by the Devil. He needed to secure the Prey as well as bond with Queue. It's a risky deal, the Devil had told him that any mistakes would result him being expelled from the Guild and face forever in exile.

Yes, you guessed that right. I am the Wanderer.

The university is the Grey Palace.

Now, keep on guessing the rest.

PS: The Devil has nothing to do with any religious element. It's just a metaphor.

Music

I lost my soul to music. I remembered last time when I was in secondary school, people who knows how to play instruments are treated like rare breed, pure breed, sacred and whatever sainthood names.

"Learning music needs talent!" I heard someone said.

All I can say is, talent is nothing. You create your own talent. It's not innate. Everyone's brain is the same when they are born. If you choose to glue your butt and watch TV or computer all the time, then you've got a - sadly - retarded mind. If you choose to read those romance/love novels or comics, then you've got a - sadly, as well - a mind that has wild but impractical imagination.

I learn music because I want to, not I deserve to. And because of music, I realise that everyone has a unique mind that resonates at a certain sound.

That sound, is the sound of talent.

Some people, when you mix with them, you get a loud ring like a bell. That tells you their minds are clear and sharp, ready to put on some real work. Some people has a blabbering bell, very annoying and irritating. You would put off as many distance as possible with them.

Here, in UTAR, I found another big but complicated family - Music Club, Weekly Classes division. I find many people with vast knowledge, skills and characters. Be it negative or positive, life is exciting when you have both.

Violinist like WeiFa and Richard, Guitarist like JuanWyn and Keyboardist like WeiWei and Edison (sorry, just to name a few), this people made up my rojak life.

Someone in those division asked me to be like before, during secondary, where I stood respected and trusted, where people are relieved enough to give me work and projects.

But I said 'No'. I don't know why I said that. Low profile? Or lazy?

Anyway, love music. That's all that matters.

NIght Has Light

Even my not-so-close friend can notice my depressed face. Oops, not EMO face yeah? Depressed. It means my eyes are a little tired, mouth downturn but still able to smile and talk, and get tired easily.

Beyond my own coursemate and some other mates from under the same faculty, I have other friends, but sadly, weird enough, is it this year's Foundation (not stereotyping) students are a little bit immature in the way of their talking? Some spoke of never-ending girlfriend stories, some spoke of fashion and beauty.

OK, fine, I know my brain is as old as a 70-year-old. But hey, I don't face this problem when I chat with my classmates or coursemates. Ada masalah ke?

It was like, you are in a house, full of friendly and warm faces, and when you stepped out, there's nothing there except darkness.

You speak to squirrels and they sprinted off.

You speak to fish and they swam.

You speak to a tree and a leaf fell.

WTH!

But at least, I can still see the moon or stars in the darkness. There is hope, when your dreams hold true. I will continue to hold this dream and still, my mission, my ultimate mission, is to break the Cycle (still want me to repeat the definition of Cycle in my life? No, not bicycle you doofus!)

And I am being troubled by two opposing forces:

HIGH profile vs LOW profile

Which is better?

Me : Desire

Ya, I know the picture sucks, but hey, it's my 3rd (I guess?) using a mouse and the Paint program. I am still mastering it, maybe a few more months later you might see a water-coloured painting.

No, that boy there is not me. It's just picture, so don't think too much...

Lately, I know you all have been seeing me depressed. It's all because of Q and the Prey (yeah, the Wanderer stories). Both sides have been making me troubled for so long...

Maybe my desire to have new best friend is too strong.

Maybe my desire to own someone is too strong.

But it just failed.

The mentality here is like.... childish?

Boy and boy walk and talk = gay

Boy and girl walk and talk = couple

Boy and dog walk and talk = ?

OK, I don't want to get that far, but you sure know what I mean.

*sigh*

Where are all those new friends I am seeking for? Forget about Q and Prey, I don't think they will last long with me though...

Vispa-Ahn's Apprentice

Artist impression only. More details can be found in my novel

Vispa-Ahn is a Rogue in my story that controls the night and stars. With two pairs of eyes and five Spirit flags as well as riding on a beast called Sturlom, they all are silhouetted in shades of yellow and black.

Some abilities of Vispa-Ahn are creating Spirit Snares, Spirit Storm, Spirit Ram and Spirit Dragon, all with the use of his five Spirit Flags. Souls that he slain are kept in his flag to be summoned and he, arguably, was the most fearsome Rogue ever walked on the world.

His Apprentice - Nikeshga, is another terrible Lady. A Spirit Snare that gained intelligence and life, she is able to turn every one into ghosts at her will. Her radiance kills the lights of most people and her life-leeching ability is unbearable. Often known as Banshee, she haunts the mind of those who are dying or deserve to die, and then she killed them in their sleep.

No one ever saw her true body, only her Goddess like face.

FOUND

After a tiresome search journey, my wallet is BACK!

Thanks to a student from Guitar Advanced Class. Gonna start to learn how to love Guitar now. LOL.... (just for the sake of pleasing that little Juanwyn Didi... XD)

I wanna thank all those who helped to share out my notice on FB, till the Student manage to got the message, even I don't know him/her.

Thanks to your prays and help!

Some more, those who comforted me, tell me to be strong and stay positive, helped me search street after street, observe every step taken in the campus, you all owe me a big THANK!!!!

From this incident, I really know many kinds of people:

1) Don't bother, don't care

2) Helpful and kind

3) Caring and encouraging

4) Greedy and materialistic

5) Homophobic (because some male said helping another male A LOT is like a gay... ==)

Anyway, thank GOD!

Amitabha!

Lost

I am lost.

I lost my wallet and nearly lost my oxygen tank (aka water bottle)

I lost my friend and I lost my dignity.

(I lost my art skills too, so sorry for the lame picture)