Self-whispering

I have realised one thing: I cannot reject people's offer but I cannot reject people's reject.

When I reject people's offer, they say I am problematic, acting-up or whatever that suits my facial expressions at that time. If I reject people's 'NO', they say I am not considerate or understanding. Why people are like this?

I always wanted to wait for Avicor, because for me, it's meant to be like this. It doesn't take up my time because I am already spending my time in the library with the tutorials and stuffs. I don't feel anything except the joy of it. Every second flying with Avicor counts. I don't like leaving people alone. It's not good, it's bad.

Bad, bad feeling...

Hmm, my friend told me something that had almost reflect my own opinion. He said, 'Spending time with your friend is nice, no matter where you go, in a cafe, cinema or even on a grassland, but thing's suck when other people suddenly appear between you both when you both are spending time together. It's even "suck-er" when either of you go to join the other people and reduce the time spent between both of you.'

I keep counting down my time in campus. I don't want to leave anyone alone. Why I always know someone who's nice to me younger than me or older than me but not same age with me? Do not misunderstand, I simply mean the one who can be a substitute to my Cycle.

I never know true love because I never fall in love, but at least I do love some people. It's been a while since I act like a protector. I have to protect my ones. Many visitors in Arva commented that I look like a father, and I hope I can be one. Even if that's not enough, I can just be a brother.

Arva, you make me wanna love Avicor more.