Sunday, March 11, 2012

Blue

The bed is blue
- the sea;
The pillow is yellow
- the sand.

He lingered on the sea, clinging on the sand. His mind was roaring with thoughts, crashing with lights. He was blinded by the flashy lights. He released his grip and the sea began to engulf him. He gasped for breath and his chest tightened.

No. He had to cling on.

A wave crashed, washing his smile away. He reached for it but he couldn't. The smile faded into the distance. Unless he allowed himself to be engulfed by the sea, he would never be able to get his smile back. It was a matter of life and death: cling on or be gone.

In a flash, he thought he saw someone he called as "brother". He wanted him to help, but he knew his "brother" won't be able to help because he didn't know how to help. He clawed his fingers deep into the sand, screaming helplessly. His "brother" looked on, casting a pair of pity eyes and warm feeling over him.

Another waved crashed...

His "brother", someone so intimate and yet felt so far away. He's like a moon shining on the shore. He knew of the moon, of course, but the moon was so far away. Was "brother" just a calling? Or his situation wasn't great enough to let him know he needs him?

Another waved crashed...

He couldn't see his "brother" anymore. He knew, he had to move on. Without anyone next to him, without a smile, he still cling on the sand. He pulled himself up with great strength and misery. He climbed on the shore, panting and gasping.

At this point, he would consider himself that he had grown up from dangers. But this time, he knew one thing for sure: his smile was taken. It could be the next full moon to bring the smile back to shore but he didn't have that time to wait. It could be tomorrow the smile washed up on shore. It could be at that moment he saw his smile.

But all hopes' fool hopes.

Wearily, he stood up on his cracking knees and faced the sun with his smile-less grin.

No matter what had happened, or would happen, he knew, he had lost his smile and yet when he still smiled, that wasn't him.

That wasn't him...

Wasn't him...

Him...

...

.

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