Mama Says (II)

Hmm... after three days in Ipoh (a wee bit spending in solitairy) I think I can now fully refresh my mind on those 'E.M.O.' things. LOL...

I remembered what my mum said: 'Don't choose a flower that is blooming vibrantly. It doesn't stay long that way. Instead find a pot of flower that has no flower buds, in that way you can groom it.'

Nice. Finally I have got the meaning of this. That 'Q-thing', I have decided. It's a blooming flower. No point complaining over that. Time to move on, yeah.

Another of my mum saying: 'Don't eat the same delicious dish all time. You get muak (fed up).'

So, no point chitchatting and scribbling over each other 'every day' (seriously, no misunderstanding here), later if I get muak, who is going to give me new food?

Blah blah blah, I think, let it be. We all studied the new product development process and how the sales goes along with its profit (unless you are a science student), so we know there must be a point of 'product maturity' and 'product decline'. If I don't want to 'decline', then it might as well I skip the entire 'maturity' part.

DONE.

Relief.

XD... Happy Chinese New Year everyone! (And don't simply leave notes on Facebook, I don't get online often enough to see your 'paparazzic' notes.)

[PS: thanks for voting me!]

Just a Dream

I keep telling myself yesterday:

It's all just a dream. He is a shadow. Nothing more.

I don't know whether my mind is going to make up tricks for me, but I am pretty sure my mind is not going to agree with what I have told myself. Sounds a wee bit crazy eh? No choice, mate, or else I will fall in deeper and deeper, unable to resurface.





Thinking back the previous days, I can honestly say that I am the one who started the topic to chat with. Silly me. Paradoxical heart. I shouldn't. I shouldn't start a topic. If I start a topic, then of course Q will join in. How doofus am I!





So, now, I am pretty relaxed and laid back. I know what am I going to do. I am going to stop it at the impersonal conversation and never continue to personal conversation with Q. Just ordinary chitchats if Q started a topic.





So after Chinese New Year, I am going to be more focused on my work, like keyboard teaching and academic. No more tolerance with Heartstompers (unless Q did something out of ordinary). Besides, I am going to have a simple 'Hi' and 'Bye' instead of 'Hi, whatcha doing?' and 'Bye, see you later!'





Call me a quitter, I don't care.





If you come in and mess my heart, you are going to take a responsibility to get it off my heart, unless you can prove it otherwise (which, I strongly recommend Q NOT to do this to me, it's torturing)

It's just a dream. He is a shadow. Nothing more.

Heartstomper

Haiz... Complicated feelings. Hope someone can understand. Everyone seemed to be busy on their Chinese New Year holidays and no one is here to listen my voice.

Heartstomper is unofficially and unconfirmed to be here in my life. If you notice me nowadays, there is this someone who stomps into my life since last week. I think YOU know who am I talking about. Out of ordinary life, Q suddenly came to know me, or rather, Q knows me already, but he didn't talk to me much.

A year ago, Q never say 'hi' or 'bye'. It's just we passed by each other like nobody.

But last week, Q started to talk to me.Weird, I know. But what should I do? I can't just simply ignore him. So I talked. A careful and cautious one. No personal stuff. Something like 'Wah, so early.' And I will answer 'Ya.'

'Ya, ya, ya'
'No, no, no'

That's my answers.

Things got way too complicated this week. Personal stuff becomes a chat topic. Jokes become bullies. Speech becomes smiles. It happened way too fast for me to comprehend. It's like a flower blooming in 3 seconds.

Impossible. And yet, it did.

Now, maybe because of Q's character, I am drawn to it. Call me whatever negative remarks you want, but seriously, out of my control, it just happened.

Now, I am not planning to take Q as a best friend or buddy because I don't wish something that happened me before happens again. It feels awful. I need time to heal. {Conscious: or maybe he can heal?} TTM= think too much.

Now I feel difficult. The 'joint project' is coming soon.

What should I do?

I feel complicated. EMO-ing....

Fizan, my buddy

Fizan, dear buddy,

Too long we didn't meet each other. It's about 2 years... how are you with Ikin? Sorry I am too busy nowadays as I am in Degree Year 1 Semester 3, 2 more years to graduate.

On your 20th birthday, I am sorry I can't play the piano for you because I have no piano around me in the hostel. But the promise I still hold. I WILL play for you in the near future, perhaps your wedding. LOL.

I don't know did you make any Chinese friends or not. LOL. Hope you did find one like me, hehe. And I see you love to open up your own business. I see the passion. But I hope you can listen to one advice of mine: take your time, business doesn't bloom in months, it takes at least 5 years of real business.

Hehe.

I don't know whether I am going back to Kedah this Chinese New Year, but I will try my best. Will you come to visit me? LOL. I don't think so, because I might not be at Kedah, even if I am in Kedah, my relatives are going to take me somewhere else to play. LOL. Sorry ya!

Well, how's your first day in your 20's? Tweenage. Supposed to be fun eh? Make some wish for your 20 years old. Make 20 wishes. And I will be beside you helping your pray for your wish come true.

I still keep a piece of yellow paper which you write your name and signature during our PK class, a scarf from your PK performance (remember that performance which you be the pirate?) and the page of my book where you write your thoughts on me.

And I will keep them forever.

Well, I got to go to school right now, my class starts at 8am to 8pm nonstop. Pity me. So, before I go, let me say something:

You are still my buddy, the best.

"Happy Birthday!"

From your buddy

Love the Hate

I don't hate people. Seriously.



OK, I lied. I do hate people, provided that particular person is bugging my a** off with pissed off attitude against me after a period of time of precipitating negative feelings.

Gosh, how ketam my definition of 'hate' on me.

Look, here's the story:

It was almost a year ago when I first met X. The first time I saw X was filled with negative remarks (sorry for that prasangka though), such as: boastful, "act cool", threatening (in the sense that X threatens my position) and else.

I never talked to X. Never. X talked and I grinned and smiled away like an idiot. No. I didn't want any kind of communication and contact with X. Dammit. X is too 'famous' to be talked of. I tried avoiding X, only staring at X with suspicious eyes and offensive stares.

That's it. I didn't like X. No, I don't mean I hate X. I just, you know, dislike. If you hate someone, you are trying to bash a person's head in your imaginative world. In this case, I just tried my best to ignore and 'look down' on X.

Then it was this moment X turned out to be the entire opposite of what I thought. I know, I know. But this is different. X is, well..., how to put that in words... 'impactful'. X leaves impressions on everywhere X goes.

Sadly, X really goes.


Blah. Just another piece of ketam here. How I wish I can tell out my feelings now to any listener.

Hello? You there?



=(

Stones as Diamonds

Remember the story of Hansel and Gretel? No? Then in Chinese I think is 'Candyhouse', if I am not mistaken, about a brother and sister being cast away by their parents in the woods where they stumbled upon the witch's candy house.

Sorry, that line was supposed to be ketam. (Remember what is 'ketam'? No? Check the archives) Because somehow many students (or young generations) do not even know who is Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, Napoleon, Mahatma Gandhi... Great goodness...

OK, that was another ketam.

Well, my mum used to say, not only opportunities come knocking once, challenges too, but challenges are a bit nasty. They knock your door once and you HAVE to answer it, because if you don't, they will find other members and come banging your door. At that time, you have to answer ALL of it.

Tough.

No. You cannot escape challenges. Some of the frequent excuses I heard are:

"Pass enough because I know I am weak"
[Me: if you know you are weak, why don't you put more effort?]

"Cincai lah, nobody is testing my English pronounciation on science report"
[Me: try saying that when one day your lab professor is asking you to speak about it]

"I weak ah, so what?"
[Me: Coward! You use that term to cover up your mistakes]

"I don't know English. Try translate it and explain next time"
[Me: Newsflash, I won't. You see those angmo words, you better learn it, QUITTER~]


As you can see, giving yourself an excuse in living is making your life closer to dying. People are progressing but you keep consoling yourself over useless excuses. If you want to continue being like that, no harm dude, you will just be left out sooner or later.

Your predecessors cast stone behind them when they walked the journey of life. You are supposed to pick them up and polish them into diamonds. Not kicking them away or hopping them over. They want you to be the excellence. Not quitter.

Leave stones for your new generations.

No spoonfeeding. Not to you, nor your next generations.


Be smart, be hard.


Cheers,
New Age Confucious. XD

Lunar River (Episode 8)

It wasn't long before the ship woke her up. After gathering herself and ate some food, she moved to her deck to check her updates. She scrolled down the screen and read it one by one. Most of it were technical glitch and her ship had successfully repaired it and sent her an error report. But there were certain things made her caught her breath.

The first one was the anomalous large object that swooped over her just before Vohne had died. The ship had investigated and analysed all available information, now the ship presented the possible explanation of what was going on there.

The object was not very large, only seven or eight kilometres long and two kilometres wide. That size had made the ship think that would be a cruiser, or an arustaship (a ship that travels close to the speed of light). The illusion of being 'big' was because the volume surrounding the cruiser had a less dense orbs swirling around, like miniature attendants of fish around a big monster fish. The cruiser had moved to the direction of Vohne and was heard no more.

She thought hard. It couldn't be Adema. Her ship was far smaller. It was impossible she could grow her ship that large. Sylvina didn't think much. It was over now. Both Vohne and Adema were not here anymore.

She looked at the other message.

It was said that there were several hundreds of ships around the Booster. It was unclear what they were doing but results showed that those ships had Rimdi's identification.

She paused.

What was Rimdi doing out here in this deserted sector?

Then, the ship shook. Alarms and klaxons rang wildly. The ship had sustained minor injuries. Another time made the ship shook even more violently. She had to held on tight. The ship screen showed that someone was behind her, firing nonstop.

She calculated the time the weapon needed to recharge. It's about four rounds. After four shots, the weapon recharged which meant the weapon was of medium power, something resembling a weak gamma-ray cannon.

She issued a neural command to the ship. She wanted hydrogen slugs to be fired back. From a liquid hydrogen to a gas hydrogen, the phase change would release so much energy that she doubt the ship could survive the hit.

Indeed, in just a few gunshots, her opponent became quiet. She ordered the ship to swerve back and planned to dock the enemy ship, taking it as her own prize. It wasn't that bad. She had got every reason to take it, especially the size of the ship was huge enough to contain her ship.

Distance

Suddenly I fall back to my deep thoughts.

Distance is not good. Especially you are having a relationship with someone. When I mean relationship, I don't mean LOVE, I mean friendship, family and lovers as well.

Do you have a friend which you always meet somewhere, some time and somehow you didn't manage to say a simple 'Hi!' to him? Or you just can't find a time to say 'Hi!'. Alright you did say 'Hi!' after all. But what about some long chats?

'Hey, I am busy. Catch ya later ya!'

That's the phrase we often hear. But do you honestly think that he/she will really catch you back later? It's just a polite and indirect way of saying, 'I am busy and I don't wish to talk much. Bye.'

That's harsh.

I have friends, but it is sad to say that some of them, even they stay so close to me, our hearts are like miles and miles apart. When we meet, we don't know what to talk. The eerie silence. The uncomfortable quietness. It sends shivers down my spine.

In PINK's song 'Sober,' 'I don't want to be the girl who fill the silence, because the quiet seems to be screaming out the truth'.

Instead, my friends who are far apart from me, they keep on asking me how am I doing. Anything interesting, Blah blah blah.

Is there a inversely proportional relationship between distance and relationship?

(i) The further two persons are, the better the relationship.
(ii) The closer two persons are, the worse the relationship.

I don't know. You make a choice.


Like I've said,

It's not a thousand miles that keep us apart,

it's what you didn't say to keep us close

How To Kill A Planet

Now you have learnt how to kill a star after I posted the blogpost. So this time around, I am going to teach you how to kill a planet.

PLEASE DON'T TRY AT HOME.

1. Whamming
Some of you might think whamming a planet-sized asteroid, or simply a planet the size of Mars to the surface of the Earth might crush the Earth into jagged pieces. Well, newsflash, it won't. It will only send heat shockwave around the Earth and back, peeling of its outer crust, leaving a smaller size Earth.

True, I tell you.

Let's upgrade the size of the whamming object into the size of a Jupiter. Terrestrial planet. I mean, a rocky planet of Jupiter size. Well, I would say Earth can be annihilated if the collision is perfect. Otherwise, the immense pressure beneath the Jupiter-sized Earth will be released like a bomb, killing itself before colliding.

2. Burning
Let's induce a solar flare from our Sun by pumping it with gravitational energy. A whip of flames can be produced and strike towards Earth if the calculation is correct. A solar flamethrower (yeah, this can be found in my novel. XD) is created.

First it strikes our atmosphere, removing it like stripping your blanket away by your mum. Then it boils the ocean into vapour and scorch the Earth into cinders.

The Earth stays.

OK, Earth is strong. Gotta admit that. But to really remove and destroy Earth, you have to keep burning the same direction till it reduces to ashes. Literally. But in order to do that, you must have almost the energy of the Sun can produce in about a million years.

Yeah, talk about energy efficiency. This method is OUT.

3. Sucking
Yup, when talk about sucking in space, it always go down with the term 'blackhole', a region of tightly warped space that even light cannot escape. We can persuade a proper blackhole into the crust or mantle of Earth. Yes, proper blackhole, not mini-blackholes because they evaporated into Hawking radiation.

The blackhole will consume the Earth's matter and slowly ingest it. It wouldn't take long before the heat surrounding the blackholes accretion disk to melt down the crust and turn it into hot plasma.

4. Shining
Ignite a gamma-ray burst from a nearby massive star. You can do that by inducing a premature supernova. The gamma-ray burst can be directed to the Earth.

Gamma-ray burst is a jet of light of high energies and radiation. The burst can blast away the atmosphere in seconds and boil away ocean in a blink of an eye. By just minutes, the heat can travel to the night side of the Earth and incinerate everything.

But the Earth is tough to be destroyed. You need a continuous burst of gamma-ray till the Earth is reduced to ashes. That would take some decades, or even centuries if the intensity of the gamma-ray burst reduces.

5. Cancelling
This is obviously rare. In order to wink the Earth out of existence, you need a large sphere of antimatter of almost the size of Earth. Antimatter is somewhat the opposite of matter. Its electrons are called positrons as they are positively charged and its protons are antiprotons, which are negatively charged.

The collision between matter and antimatter would cause each other to annihilate, leaving a bright light of energy that shines through the galaxy. Don't understand? What you get by adding +1 and -1? You get zero. That's it. The atom poof and gone into energy.

How large that energy is going to be? E=mc^2. If the mass is gone, you get E=c^2. Now you get it.

But antimatter of such size is unimaginable, and impossible to survive in physical space for long period as they will be annihilated every second by ordinary matter.

6. Stretching
OK, maybe one blackhole isn't enough playing. Why not try two instead? By placing two blackholes at opposite sides of Earth, the Earth can be shred into pieces. Term? Spaghettification.

Nothing much to say here. You know how it ends.

7. Strange... just strange
Normal protons are made up of 3 quarks, and so do the neutrons. They consist of up quarks and down quarks bind together by something called gluon (glue + on). Now, there is one hypothetical particle, called a strangelet, or a strange particle. This particle is strange because it doesn't have up quarks or down quarks, but other strange quarks like charm quarks. Ah, in simpler terms, it is not usual and normal.

This strangelet is very metastable and reactive. Once it touches another atom, it transfer its 'strangeness' to the victim. Which means, any atom reacts with strangelet will become strangelet itself.

So, throw a tiny strangelet to the surface of the Earth. In no time, the entire Earth is transformed into strange matter of gooey surfaces.





Now that's how you kill a planet.

Nearly-Invisible Blog

My novel is almost complete. Sorry for the recurring phrase. It's about time. I didn't finish a long time ago because my laptop go haywire a couple of times and I didn't save a copy. Stupid me.

Weekends are so boring. I exercise and copy notes. What else can I do? DOTA? I did that already. FACEBOOK? Of course you silly dummyhead I have done that.

...

...

...

Well, I guess I have nothing to say.

Ciao!