Saturday, January 29, 2011

Just a Dream

I keep telling myself yesterday:

It's all just a dream. He is a shadow. Nothing more.

I don't know whether my mind is going to make up tricks for me, but I am pretty sure my mind is not going to agree with what I have told myself. Sounds a wee bit crazy eh? No choice, mate, or else I will fall in deeper and deeper, unable to resurface.

Thinking back the previous days, I can honestly say that I am the one who started the topic to chat with. Silly me. Paradoxical heart. I shouldn't. I shouldn't start a topic. If I start a topic, then of course Q will join in. How doofus am I!

So, now, I am pretty relaxed and laid back. I know what am I going to do. I am going to stop it at the impersonal conversation and never continue to personal conversation with Q. Just ordinary chitchats if Q started a topic.

So after Chinese New Year, I am going to be more focused on my work, like keyboard teaching and academic. No more tolerance with Heartstompers (unless Q did something out of ordinary). Besides, I am going to have a simple 'Hi' and 'Bye' instead of 'Hi, whatcha doing?' and 'Bye, see you later!'

Call me a quitter, I don't care.

If you come in and mess my heart, you are going to take a responsibility to get it off my heart, unless you can prove it otherwise (which, I strongly recommend Q NOT to do this to me, it's torturing)

It's just a dream. He is a shadow. Nothing more.

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