It's going to be a sleepless night, be it a dreamless one. People are singing 'Happy Birthday' now as I typed this blog. It reminds me the first time I had my birthday in Kampar. The Keyboard tutors, then my sakai girls gang...
I think back, they had their best intentions, but I had my worst attitude.
Fastforward to the future, to present. After hearing what my CRM tutor said about true friends lasting for more than one year is impossible, I begin to rethink about the Cycle thing. It's true, though, you can have more than a thousand friends on Facebook, but those you need them is like lesser than 1%.
Those who always try to comfort me without interfering my life. I owe my thanks to YitMun. It is as though she still can find the fun in my despair. I can't imagine we were once enemies during Foundation time.
Humans are idiots.
They want someone to comfort them but they reject their offers, and then make themselves even more miserable.
I am not miserable now.
I am thinking of chilling out.
I remembered the days during my NS, where me and my friend walked to the garden and gazed at the stars and chatted when the Muslims were going for their prayers. It was a whole 3 hours time, relaxing and relieving.
I thought I can do that again in Kampar, especially with the lake. It was my biggest dream to sit by the lake, or sea and gaze at the moon and stars.
But the noise around is too disrupting.
I remembered WeiZhi offered to take me to the overhead bridge near Harvard to gaze the stars when it was my birthday. I rejected. Because it was late and I was worried about my next day's class.
I screwed up everything from Foundation. I tried to build it better during Degree. And guess what, I failed.
Then people suggested that I should get a girl friend.
People asked me, why I don't get committed with girls, I have some reasons:
1) It's academic years. I don't wish to be disturbed by materialistic, shoppaholic girls. I only desire smart, quickwitted, independent, practical girls. Not those who spend time make-up, gila-gila, clubbing, don't know how to COOK. (Seriously, if my gf dunno how to cook, I won't cook for her)
2) I am not desperate. I have seen enough in this world that I would rather be myself than chasing shadows. No point.
3) I can't even manage my friendship well and I am thinking about getting a girl? Get a grip. I am not like that. My life mission does not state that I MUST find a partner.
[PS: Going to lake alone soon. Ciao!]