Monday, November 21, 2011


For a person who was very less affected by emotions (notice the italicised word "was"), I was being called as a bitch, or something equivalent, but none-the-less.

OK. Done.

Because of recent bickering and arguing, it all simmers down (I think I used too much 'boils down' in the previous posts, did I?) because of my shitty attitude. I always have high expectation on someone who does thing well. I demand near-perfect results (I mentioned I was a bitch, didn't I [notice the italicised word again please]?).

So, now, in tertiary education, my old habit didn't wane (look, even though I italicised the word above, it is still a past tense because:) but at least it got better. All these shitty things invaded into my private relationship. Between my friends. I demand so much that when they are unable to fulfill it, I got pissed. Oh, I mean I pissed off ("I got pissed" means macam "I kena kencing")

Fortunately, my wise mind is back after all those weeks of seclusion. Hate someone or hate something because of someone. That is two great polarity difference. If you hate someone, it is impossible. Nobody is born to be hated.

If so, you have discrimination discrimination.

Nope, that was no typo, guys. Discrimination discrimination means you have a dicrimination gene to be discriminating. Whatever. That's not the point.

The point is, the 'hate someone' thing is nothing.

So what about hate something because of someone? That's common, in me especially. If you don't do it well, I hate you. Period.

For me, I have to learn how to be more forgiving. I am only forgiving when my mood is right, or I will condemn the fellow till one day I question myself "Why I did so?", then only I forgive. It's not right, you know.

I have been living under many forgiving people, and I didn't learn anything from them (seriously?). I don't give people chances, unless I think they are like my protege or someone talented enough to impress me.

Yeah, you can call me bitch again. But please, I am trying.

Hate, is not a good thing, definitely. As you have your relationship with anyone, just love them wholeheartedly. There might be nothing as a very very smooth relationship, but relationship grows through conflicts and interests. Minimise the conflict and maximise interest, I think it is one of the ways to move on.

For the past few weeks, my attitude was somewhat extreme. Yes, I am aware of that. At least. But it's true we all need time, but we need it sooner than later, because we don't want to have a regretful life. I have regretted my past, but this time, when I have all the love I can get from my family, brother and the fun from my friends, that, in fact, is my most wonderful stepping out moment from being bitching.

I thank you all. Seriously.

One day, I will fulfill my status as "Father of Friendship" once again. For that, I promise.

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