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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Doofus

I saw a post from Facebook. I am not plagiarising, but sharing.

True or not, just 'enjoy' it:

(The 'I' in the story does not refer to the author)

I saw a lightbulb wrapper in England, noting: 'DO NOT PLACE IN MOUTH. I was thinking: Doofus! Who would put a lightbulb in a mouth! and I laugh it off...

Later, I went to my friend's house to have a chitchat. Then I talked about this matter. My friend turned serious, he said, 'It's true I tell you. We all learn that in school. Placing a lightbulb in the mouth will get stuck!'

I said, 'The lightbulb has smooth surface. It's impossible it will stuck in anyone's mouth! If your mouth is big enough, it can enter and exit at will!'

He argued, 'It is true, I tell you!'

And we argued...

To prove I was right and he was wrong, especially I had a curiousity of a scientist, I went to take a lightbulb and try it at home. Of course, I had prepared some safety precautions: a bottle of olive oil. In case it really got stucked, I could still lubricate my mouth and pull it out.

Slowly, I put the lightbulb in my mouth. I thought, that was easy! Later, I can just take it out like how I put it in!

Doofus fool friend! Look how I take it out!...

... oops, looked tougher that it was... never mind, just a little extra energy...

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Argh, just opened my mouth wide enough for the lightbulb to slip out...

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OMFG! It really got stucked! I quickly poured the oil in my mouth to lubricate it... and once again, pull it out with my wide opened mouth...

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30 minutes later... I had swallowed three quarters of the oil but it still got stucked!

I picked up the telephone and rang the hospital. But I stopped before dialing the last number. How to speak when the lightbulb was in my mouth?

Argh!!!

I ran out and asked for help. My neighbour laughed till she couldn't trim her weeds in the lawn properly. I was cursing her in my heart, but I still wrote a message 'Call the taxi and take me to the hospital!'

She apologised for her laughter (she was still giggling) and helped me into a taxi.

The taxi driver burst into laughter when he saw my face like I was swallowing a goldfish. He kept asking me why I did so. You DOOFUS! How was I going to reply you with a lightbulb in my mouth?

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In the hospital, I was scolded by a dozen or so nurses for wasting their time and my foolishness. And of course, patients there were staring at me in surprise and laughing their asses off.

My face went red...

The doctor finally took out the pieces of the lightbulb after bursting it. He was careful not to cut my tongue by placing cotton pads in my mouth. He lectured me for my foolish acts and told me to tell everyone in the world, NOT TO PUT A LIGHTBULB IN A MOUTH.

My mouth was swollen, but I still managed to nod and thank him.

As I walked out of the hospital door, everyone was looking at me. I was so embarrassed. I never gonna be that Doofus anymore! Thinking awhile back, I was indeed the doofus, not my friend.... If only I had...

There was a man at the hospital door, he was my taxi driver...

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There was a lightbulb in his mouth.........

~END~

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