Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy New Year

New Year 2011 is coming. When everyone is having the light in their hearts to celebrate their New Year, I have some faint darkness that I could not overcome.

I admit, I have hurt my friend's feeling during my Secondary School final year. I admit. I know I was selfish back then, but no matter how I reached out, I cannot find a response. I felt like I am a tree, branching out in all directions trying to touch the sky.

I really wanted to meet him, talk to him, say how sorry I was. But... *sigh*... things never got any better. The crack is there between him and me. No matter how I pray, it just won't seal up.

I, secara rasmi, have lost him, forever.

Another one in my Uni years. This time, I managed to seal up the crack. But, the scar is still there. I don't know how to get any closer. There is a slight curtain between us. I cannot reach out. Every time I lead out a hand, the distance got wider. So, I guess, I should just be glad the crack is sealed. The scar, I prefer it to stay, to let me know I did something nasty to people and I won't repeat it.

I keep on express my sadness and regret through songs so sad that will make you cry. But what can I do to them? It was my fault after all.

These are my wishes for 2011. These are my darkest times. I wish and hope someone or a miracle to help me seal those cracks and repaint the walls...

I just wish that very much

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