I dreamt last night. I use the letter "U" to represent somebody, since my blog is not private.
My kidney problems got worse. I quitted SRC to tend my illness. Along the days, I got very, very sick and never thought of wanting anyone next to me to express their sadness on me. And one day, I collapsed in block H.
I woke up and found myself in the hospital.
My family is right next to me smiling while I got a message from D that U had been looking around for me. I deleted that message, returned the smile to my family. I was told I was healing fast now. Through the crowd slit, I saw U sitting outside my ward, legs wide opened, head tilted so down that I took some time to realise it was U.
My dad blocked the view and gave me something to drink.
At night I was asleep. I felt someone touched me and kissed me on my forehead and I heard: "I am so sorry I wasn't there..."
Before I could open my eyes and say something, U left. It was U.
The next day, I can go home already. And I received a call from the hospital, saying U was waiting for me in the hospital, and should I let U answer the phone on the hospital. I hesitated, and I said, "No, please. I don't have the time..."
"But U said it is important to meet you..."
"Tell U to go home..." I said.
Many weeks later, whenever I saw U passing by, I didn't smile, didn't even say hello. I don't even know if I know U anymore. U was just another stranger in my life that somehow created a crater before U left.
I woke up.
Responsibility vs Relationship.
These words burn in my mind.