Oxidised

Now I know how hard it is to pretend a relationship that is still sustaining whereas the truth is otherwise. That kind of pretence, is untolerable to own. I have seen many people, no matter lovers or friends, when they pretend that both of them are close in the public but distance within hearts, the eyes are soulless.

As if they have lost everything they have striven for. As if all hopes are lost.

It is worse when only one party feel that way while the other still thinking that their relationship still sustains and endures all.

A glassy heart that shatters at the point of touch. Ever fallen, ever shaters. Nobody is going to help you pick them up, only you yourself picking them up (even hurt yourself when doing so) and piece them into a wholesome heart, where the cracks are still visible.


*

Enough with that. LOL.

My mum told me about I don't have a relationship that lasts long. She said, every new semester, I keep throwing out new names to her, and the old names just don't last long in her memories.

I thought back and realised that it was true.

Every semester, I have my own friends, then after that semester, it's just gone. As if they never appeared in my life. I feel greatly sorry about that. But what I mean is, I never keep in touch with them, or either, no news from them.

The only survivors are WeiWei, PuayCian, SockThing. The rest are seldom raised in front of the conversation between me and my mum, whereas last time during my secondary school years, the same names kept popping out from my mouth till my mum knew them.

Am I that bad?

I think this semester, certain relationship with certain people is going to end. Oxidised. And I just know one of the expected one. Erm, actually is quite unexpected to people that my relationship with that someone is going to end.

Huh, Cycles again huh?


Don't care. I started to get immune with it already.