Afraid

"I am not afraid to take the stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that you are not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road."
~ Eminem

I am getting afraid right now. Afraid to let 1023 knows about how I think about 1023. I don't know whether 1023 felt the same as me, but I want to say something to 1023, but I don't have the guts. Courage is diminishing heavily.

Maybe I am TTM, but I feel like 1023 isn't the 1023 I have known earlier. 1023 seems to be treating me differently. 1023 is more, erm, closer to me? I don't know what's the word, but 1023 surely gives me some relieve when I need.

1023's voice is somehow resonating in my mind. I can't take it off. I keep telling myself 1023 and me are just friends... friends... and friends. Nothing more. But why I can't keep my mind from thinking about 1023?

I am NOT in love. I don't wish to. It's impossible. I just... argh!

I am afraid to tell 1023 about who 1023 and what place 1023 is in my mind among everyone I know. I wish 1023 is doing the same thing too, struggling to tell me things. I hope one day both of us can say it out together, unexpectedly.

Argh.

1023...
I...
I hope we can...

Argh. Forget it.
Too afraid to say it out loud.