I am possessive. That's why I can't let go things easily. Once I got it, I must have it. I cannot lose it. I don't know what kind of brother, or boyfriend, I am going to be if I have another person next to me.
When I know someone that I feel great to be with (no, not necessary girls, emphasise on the word 'great'), I will try to help that person, talk with that person, or accompany that person (if the situation is that person is really really lonely).
No, I am not trying to pancing that person. It's like, erm, I like that person and I want to know more so that we can be better in the future circumstances. Sort of besties? Pals? Partners? I dunno the term. I am afraid any term I used might spark someone to think that the term is gay.
Then, if I find that that someone has actually had pals, partners or whosoever, I will retreat. Yes, I will retreat. I will draw a very deep and dark line between me and that person. I don't want to ruin anyone's life.
Call me crazy or stupid, will ya?
These two days, I have made some friends, quite some. Really thanks to Isaac for placing me as a Counter Manager, or else I would only know my counter partners. And there are some of the receptionists there are quite, erm, good or great if they are my friends.
Unfortunately, hehe, they have their own life. So, oopsie, no troubling people. No point right? I mean, why grab someone to be your great friend, when they belong to someone's great friend? LOL. Exactly. My principle: Three is not a good number in a relationship.
So, I would tell myself: Eff off!
No, I didn't raise my barrier this time. Because, I am happy to say that, all counter receptionists are GOOD, no, BEST. LOL. Professional, steady, calm, thorough, friendly and careful. I love to be with them, to annoy them.
But hey, it isn't about work only, it's about building a bond between everyone and link them together like a spider web. Looks fragile, but at least the bond is still there.
I am happy for everyone. Even though I thought I can have better 'relationships' with some. LOL. Nah, just dreaming.
Yeah, speaking of dreaming, I know you all knew that once I dreamt of someone, that someone CANNOT be my friend? What I mean cannot means it sooner or later will happen a terrible 'breakup' or some sort of 'farewell', 'misunderstanding', 'partings' etc. It's beyond my control mostly.
And I guessed why it happens. No, I didn't guess. I lied. I 'communicated' with my master. And he said the same thing, I am way too possessive. If I am too possessive of that person, I will lose that person.
Make sense? I dunno. I don't care. What I do care is, my friends are still keeping in touch with me every now and then. SMS me. Call me.
It's not how many friends I've got, it's how many good friends I've got.
New Sem, New Life