Pissed Off

You sought after C even though I have given you so much

I gave all I have in mind to help you

In the end,

You turn to C

You know how that feels?

You actually know how it feels?

No wonder a mother will cry

if her kid listens to other people's mother than his own

I know I am not your mother

But the same feeling still applies!

I can't say I like you

I can't say I hate you

I don't even know who you are in me

I don't even know who am I in you

You sanctimonious prick!

Sweet talking (if it's sweet)

and close chatting

makes me believe that you have trust on me

But now

I know

You still don't trust me much,

You come closer to me

just to find anything useful in me

and then you just

'Ciao!'

Who you think you are!?

You said I am your friend

You said you never .......

Never mind,

what you told me was a pack of lies.

Even there's a wee bit of truth in it

I can't hold on to your words.

I am disappointed in you.

So many times

I have tolerated myself

against my friends

who told me not to be nice to you.

I told my friends

that I believe in you

I believe you know what's best

and who's nice

and who is to trust.

No

You didn't.

You still turn back to C

after all.

What for you need me?

A friend? A master?

A teacher? A guide?

A ... ?

I am just a tool in your eyes

that you can use it freely

if you want to.

I am just a gold mine

that you can dig all my skills

and add on to C's skills

and still claim that your skills

are from C,

rather than from me.

You know how does that feel?

Eff off!

I thought I can stop talking

Stop interacting

with you all these days.

But

I failed.

I easily believe in someone

whose words are thought to be true.

Go back to where you are.

Go back to C.

Don't ever ask from me anything.

I won't help you.

I regretted helping you,

troubling myself

crossing all the redtapes

just to help you safely.

Now, I wonder

the offer I told you before

still stands?

I hope I can cancel it.

Because that offer is MINE.

I used to think it should be shared,

But after this incident

I realised how stupid am I

to share things that should be mine.

MINE!

My life is MINE,

eff off

you silly billy!

I don't want to see you anymore!

You want to know why I pissed things here?

Yup, you are damn right!

I don't have friends that I can tell my personal problems.

I can't solve my problems.

I know you are

SOLO

BRAVE

INDEPENDENT

SMART

I am not.

I am

SOLO

COWARD

DEPENDENT

STUPID

Get back to your life.

Seriously.

Don't chat with me anymore.

No SMS

No Facebook

Nothing!

I still stick back to my own words:

Eff off and I am sorry to know you,

you idiot.