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Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Cycle

And so, the Cycle has fulfilled its turn. It seems like I can't stop it. Why in the world when I get to know someone so great and nice and it ends up as soon as it begins to fire up?

What did I do that the Cycle keeps on repeating?

You know what I mean by the 'Cycle'? It means when I start to get to know some friend, and when our bonds are getting closer to become best buddies or good friends, the relationship comes to a halt or something happen that stop us from continuing. It often ends in 'goodbyes', 'frustration' or 'tragedy' (which, sadly, the last two seldom happen). I called it the 'Cycle' because this scenario has been repeating again and again...

In Form 2, I lost my best friend which I had known her for 12 years. She went to Taiwan right now.
In Form 3, I lost my sifu as he suddenly didn't talk to me. (I still didn't know what I've done wrong)
In Form 4, I lost my precious buddy under me because of my betrayal on him. It wasn't intentional. It was all because I was joining forces with another espionage thing (spy, in order words) and I forced to play a double-agent. And sadly, he failed to see that.
In Form 5, I lost my best buddy but whom I recently talk to him again, but we aren't as before. I don't know why I lost him.
In Foundation, I lost one of my best friends because of my pissed off attitude. I changed but the dark reputation stays.
In Degree, I PURPOSELY lost my friend because of his pissed off attitude of blaming out of nothing. I am not going any further in this.

Now, I am losing another one whom I just about to know him.

I am asking everyone, I am not questioning God, but please, why do these things keep happening to me? When will be the day, where I will have a stable and secure life, happy with my friends, great with my buddies and excited to be with besties?

When?

Who knows how to end my Cycle?

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